Notification of maintenance: In the next week we have to upgrade the servers due to increased demand. That may result in outages as we make the upgrades. Sorry for any inconvenience.
This one reads like an early draft of a screenplay. Maybe that's what I had in mind when I wrote it way back then. A strange sort of plague hits an isolated community. Its victims, usually male-female pairs, suddenly get the irresistible urge to have sex with each other. And this no matter if the pairing is wildly inappropriate.