This is number 126 in the blog series, “My Life in Erotica.” I encourage you to join my Patreon community to support my writing.
“HE WAS TALLER than I am by a couple of inches, weighing a little over 200. He had sandy hair that stuck out like he’d slept on it when it was wet. No, a little longer. I’d say his face was a little rounder than that, but not fat. Just shaped like a balloon. Thin lips. Nose was sort of flat, like it had been hit a few times. He squinted all the time, like he wasn’t used to the light. Yes. That’s it.”
“Based on your description, we have brought in five suspects. Could you take a look at these five men and tell me if any of them was the man who assaulted you?”
“Well, he was about the height of number three. The eyes were like number five. I think number one is too short…”
Now, if you were describing your novel, would a reader be able to pick it out of a lineup? That’s the next step in selling your novel. The logline is an eye-stopper. The elevator pitch sparks interest. The blurb makes a person open the listing to see what it’s all about. But the description is what causes the nickel to drop. Or the $5.95, as the case may be.
Do you recall the blurb I presented last week for an imaginary novel I might write in November? Here it is.
“What if your whole life was condensed into a single year and everything important in it happened that year. For fifty years, Lowell has lived in the memories of his life in 1979. As the song goes, ‘I’ve been a puppet, a pauper, a pirate, a poet, a pawn, and a king.’ And Lowell was all those things in just one year! These are his memories of that one incredible year.”
When you post a book for sale, you typically have two different boxes for describing it. The first is the blurb (less than 400 characters) and the second is the description (less than 4,000 characters). The description is the author’s opportunity to finally convince the reader to buy his book. Here’s what I created for The Year I Lived.
Lowell’s life was nothing but ordinary from the day he was born to the day he died—except that one year from the summer of 1979 to the summer of 1980. That year gave him enough memories to last a lifetime. In fact, for the past fifty years, he’s been caught in a loop, reliving all those memories.
When he tells people what happened to him, they assume he’s just telling stories made up from a reasonably long life, but no one believes they all happened in a single twelve-month period, give or take a few weeks. And those who have known him for any length of time can’t believe they happened at all. But from June 1979 to June 1980, Lowell lived an entire life’s worth of adventure and excitement.
He didn’t start off rich or noble, nor did he end rich or noble. He was caught up in an extraordinary adventure and was left just an ordinary guy. Of course, there were changes. Life before the year, he was on one course, certain that he had his career, family, and spirit set on a permanent trajectory. Life since the year, found him also on a course with a career, family, and spirit set on a permanent trajectory. It was just a different one than before the year.
Of course, you’ll need to know a little about his life before the year—a topic Lowell has always avoided—in order to understand how extraordinary that one year was. His totally unremarkable life was coming to a depressing end as his divorce was finalized. He was completely unprepared for what came after. (1467 characters)
The purpose of the description is to draw the reader into the story just far enough that he or she wants to know what happened. The reader has invested two minutes at this point and is ready to invest a few hours learning about Lowell’s life.
I’ve been spending most of September preparing the Signature Edition of my three-volume work, Bob’s Memoir: 4,000 Years as a Free Demon. It’s scheduled for release November 1, 2025. The book (Signature Edition is only available as a hardcover print edition) will sell for $49.95. The most expensive book I’ve ever produced. Who would ever buy it?
I don’t really care. I created it so I could put it on my bookshelf of Signature Editions. But that doesn’t mean I haven’t thought everything through about the book. Why do I think it’s worth it?
“Hi! I’m Bob and I’ll be your demon tonight.”
So begins the adventure of a free demon, loosed on the world by an inept adept some 4,000 years ago. But Bob is not your ordinary demon. He was not imbued with any traits of evil when he was summoned and as a result is rather benign. He’s just your everyday, slightly horny, happy-go-lucky (mostly lucky) demon.
It’s a romp through the annals of human history from a unique perspective. A little bit spooky. A little bit sexy. A lot funny.
That 395-character blurb is what truly inspired me to write the three-volume series, all combined in a single book for the Signature Edition. But if anyone is going to look further than the blurb for a $50 book, they’ll need to have a little more to go on. Here’s the description:
This Signature Edition of Bob’s Memoir: 4,000 Years as a Free Demon contains all three volumes of Bob’s seminal work on the history of the world for the past four millennia. It has been designed in a way that seems appropriate for the work of an immortal sharing his insights on the development of humanity and inhumanity. Bob has experienced all aspects.
It was a difficult thing for a poor defenseless demon to endure, especially finding how terribly wrong the history books and religious teachings and scientific writings have gotten the story over the years. It is his attempt to set the record straight. He’s done everything possible to make the work simple and understandable, stopping short of labeling chapter and verse all the way through.
As a Signature Edition, this volume includes a digitally signed photo of the real author, Devon Layne, and an interview. Devon (me) wishes to assure you that he is not a 4,000-year-old demon, no matter what his ex-wives might say. He has merely acted as the intermediary for Bob, who introduced himself as Devon was driving on US Route 95 through Idaho, in search of inspiration and groceries.
Bob introduced himself politely as if he were a passenger in the cab of Devon’s truck, and told him he would be dictating his story and as soon as Devon was conveniently settled in front of his computer, the story would begin. And thus, it began.
As Devon sat naked in front of his campfire that night, fellow nudist and story consultant Doug showed up to share a beer and discuss the latest story. Devon told him about Bob’s arrival on the scene and a little about what he’d been told so far. Doug nodded, downed another beer, and stared into the fire.
“I get it,” he said. “Bob is just your everyday, slightly horny, happy-go-lucky—mostly lucky—demon.”
“That Doug,” Bob whispered in Devon’s ear. “He shows up every century or two. He gets it.”
And so, it proved to be. Of course, Doug was only a little of the story Bob told when compared to the many, many women who crossed Bob’s path—some of whom, came to stay.
So, I, Devon Layne, have endeavored faithfully to record Bob’s story, even when it seemed disjointed and to extend into a future not yet seen. Enjoy!
The description sets the tone of the story and encourages the reader to shell out the funds necessary to read it. Personally, I’ve read it at least a dozen times.
Of course, the three normal eBooks of Bob’s Memoir can be purchased from ZBookStore for just $4.99 each or the set for $12.00. An all-new second edition of Volume 3 will be released on October 12 and is unavailable until then, and as always, my works can be read online for free at SOL or at my own website. The current edition of Volume 3 will remain at SOL until next Sunday when I'll begin replacing it with the 2nd edition.
Next week, I’ll discuss other important tools and documents you might be asked for in attempting to publish your book. The synopsis, the outline, the first twenty pages, keywords, and categories remain to be covered. Starting next week.