Chapter 117

December 30, 2017

Dear Ms. Diary,

[Written January 2]

I woke when someone touched, then patted my hand, a hand that was lying on a chest that seemed to lack mammaries. I opened my eyes, blinked, then lifted my head slightly. Ah. I was curled into Brett and two brilliant green eyes were staring into mine across his chest. It was Lana’s hand on mine. She wasn’t quite in a mirror image of my posture, as she didn’t have a leg on him, but she might have had. I rotated my hand under hers, then gripped it gently palm to palm.

“I could get very used to this.”

Those whispered words originated right next to my head, so I rotated my head to look at Brett from less than a foot away.

Lana asked, “Have you been awake long, Brett? Neither of us has.”

“I think I’ve been drifting, not sure if my surroundings were reality or a dream. They’re something of a dream, but also amazing reality, a reality I couldn’t have imagined not long ago, waking to ... this.”

While Brett was talking, I let my head drop back onto his upper chest, but kept my eyes on Lana, who had rolled onto her front, then placed the right side of her head on her left hand, which was now palm down on the right side of Brett’s chest.

Lana responded, “One of my first thoughts this morning was of us kissing last night. That was ... much more than simply nice. However, that led to my next thought.” She looked back at me and said, “If you girls were concerned about being fair with the three of us that didn’t pose with Brett yesterday, then we should probably tell the girls that didn’t get to sleep with Brett that they’re owed two kisses each.”

Lana and I both felt Brett lurch a bit and turned our heads to face him.

I asked, “You had a comment about that?”

“Not really, but since you asked, is it really that important to make...”

“Yes, Brett,” Lana interrupted. “For that ... future possibility to have any chance of working, each of us girls must feel that she’s being treated fairly, as it would be far too easy for jealousy to tear us apart. I know I’ve only just met everyone, but I really like the other girls already. Also, given that I have a huge advantage for the next six months of living in the same house with you, it’s critical that I be seen as not having any more of an advantage with you than I already have.” She glanced at me, then looked back at Brett and added, “Beth ... and everyone else, including me, will be trying to maintain some ... figurative distance between you and us girls so we don’t get too familiar and slide into a ... depth of relationship with you for which none of us is really ready. It’s already obvious to me that we’re going to find it difficult ... and somewhat frustrating to maintain that distance, seeing as how two of us woke curled up with you here in bed this morning.”

She glanced again at me, and I gave her as emphatic a head nod as I could, given that my head was lying on its left side on Brett’s chest. She blinked her eyes at me to acknowledge receipt of my encouragement, then looked back at him.

Softly, she said, “Brett, I’ve spent little time with everyone here, but it’s already obvious that some of us, perhaps most or all of us, want to throw caution aside and go for it with you, but are also frightened of the possibilities of doing so. We don’t want to give up some of the closeness that we have with you – such as sleeping with you, and if that doesn’t sound like something of an oxymoron to you, you should probably make a reality check – but we’re just not ready, as a group, to take things any further. Last night, we probably shouldn’t have kissed you, but you were so wonderful that we needed to show you that we appreciated ... greatly appreciated that wonderfulness, so kissed you. That could have been any trio of us girls, but chance had it being this trio. We can’t let random chance give some of us benefits like that the other girls don’t get.”

When there was silence for quite a few seconds, Gracey made her consciousness known by asking, “Do you understand, Brett?”

“Oh. Oh, yes. Yes, I do. I just got lost in what Lana said about you girls not being ready as a group, from which I interpreted that one or more may be ready as individuals. I was trying to figure out if my interpretation was valid or not. Regardless, I know I’m not ready. Oh, I’ve enjoyed ... greatly enjoyed everything ... physical ... I’ve gotten to do, but I’ve managed largely because I knew ahead of time that most of it would ... not be repeated any time soon. I certainly see and understand Lana’s point about ... the kissing, and I suppose I could put up with having to kiss another five or so pretty girls, but only to make it even and prevent jealousy!”

Lana slugged him, though not hard, and we laughed.

Gracey laughingly said, “This is one of the reasons we like you so much: You’re such a martyr.” More softly she added, “And we really like it when you exercise your wonderful sense of humor. Beth has told us over the years that you’re really funny, and one of the most important benefits of you dropping your shell is the rest of us learning what Beth learned about you years ago. Brett, you fit with us, and that may be the most important aspect that makes it fun to be around you. However, it’s also the thing that makes us so wary, because it would be so easy just to let go and be and do what we want with you.”

Lana rolled onto her left side, her back firmly planted against Brett, looked at Gracey, and said, “That’s exactly right. I couldn’t figure out how to express that, and you got it exactly right.” She breathed deeply, then added, “I am so going to love living here and being with ... everyone. I’m going to have to figure out how I can stay here for the rest of high school. I really love my parents, but I really want ... this. This group of friends. This group of amazing people that fit each other and, I think, fit me.”

I turned to Brett and asked, “Can you do this? Can you be in situations like this, situations in which some of us are in physical contact? Situations in which we’re all enjoying ... this bit of intimacy without losing control?”

He looked into my eyes for a few seconds, then looked at the others. Lana contorted herself to be able to get her eyes on his, winding up with the back of her head right next to mine and resting on the middle of Brett’s chest looking at him, essentially, upside down.

“This is ... actually ... easy to do. This sort of casual ... intimacy has me just ... enjoying my good friends, all of whom happen to be pretty girls. Well, I admit to another reaction, but that reaction isn’t as strong as the feeling that I’m so happy that I worked out of much of my shyness with girls so I can have ... this. Dealing with all the touching yesterday was more difficult, but I’m certain I could do it again and not have a problem with control, not that I’m advocating for that to happen again. I’m not. I’ll be very happy if this can happen with some regularity.”

Footsteps on the stairs suggesting our four-person idyll was shortly coming to an end, although not one of us moved except that movement required to put our eyes on the bedroom door closest to the stairs.

There was a knock on the door and Liya’s voice saying, “Get your clothes back on, ‘cause you’re soon to be invaded.”

She might have waited an entire two seconds before pushing the door open and stepping into the room.

“What a comfy, familial scene this is.”

“Come join us,” Gracey said.

Liya responded by putting her left arm behind her back and grimacing, saying, “Well, if I must,” after which she took a grinning, running leap and landed right by me. I rolled the rest of the way over to her and wrapped her in my arms and kissed her forehead.

“What’s going on?”

We all looked at Brett as he responded, “We’ve been having something of a ... bonding thing, talking about the us that is not quite more than a large group of really good friends. We’ve been discussing boundaries and ... and ‘feelings’ is as good a descriptor as any.” When he looked around and realized that he had four girls staring at him with something like amazed visages, he asked, “What? What did I do?”

Lana replied, “You just proved once again why it is that we like you so much. Not only did you take part in that conversation we had just before Liya arrived, but you just proved not only that you understood everything about that conversation, but also proved that you had internalized the take-home from that conversation.”

Gracey skootched a little closer to him and petted his hair, saying, “What she said.” She looked up into Liya’s eyes and added, “He made our day. He said that this ... this sort of ... casual intimacy, with two of us lying partly on him and all of us in touching range, was something he liked a lot, and that it was not at all a threat to his control.”

Liya stared into Brett’s eyes for a while, then crawled across me and placed a small kiss on his forehead, then leaned away and looked at him some more.

“If this is the Brett that is a constant with us, that is, the Brett that is always in control, the chance of that fantasy of the future achieving reality climbs significantly.”

I said to Liya, “Lana made an excellent point with him that we were not ready for further intimacy... as a group, and he inferred that some of us might be ready as singles, effectively acknowledging that the group was the critical aspect. He then made a great self-effacing joke about it. He could not have had a better response.” I breathed deeply, then added, “We’ve got to find our way through the various problems we can see.” I turned back to Brett and said, “Please bear with us.”

He replied, “Isn’t that what... this is all about?”

He waved both hands about indicating the four girls in bed with him and, particularly, how we were in bed with him.

“Beth, I’m fine with this. It’s so much more than I expected, both in how many ... proto-girlfriends I have, but also with this ... level of intimacy. This, just this will keep me with you girls for years. I understand as I become more familiar with each of you that I may wish to ... up the intensity, but I can resist that wish. You girls are in charge, as it should be.” When Liya began something of an objection, he cut her off, saying, “No. You girls have the most to lose, so you need to be in control, as long as it’s a shared control with every girl having a say. I’ve already said this a couple of times, but I’ll say it again. I couldn’t have imagined it even a month ago, but I really want that fantasy possibility. And if I must put up with pretty girls sharing my bed in a mostly platonic fashion, getting all my nails painted by a pretty girl who has to hold my hands and feet to accomplish that task, and to have most of the pretty girls in the 9^th grade and one or more from the 12^th give me occasional kisses on a cheek or my forehead, I guess I could live with that just to get to that future.”

“Okay,” Liya said, “you asked for it, Boy!”

She scooted down and laid on her front, her legs and pelvis on the bed, her left arm on my back, and her chest on Brett’s belly. She gave a come-on gesture to Gracey, who pushed Lana a bit farther down-bed such that Lana’s left shoulder was abutting Liya’s right and her chest was also on Brett’s belly. Gracey then snugged into him, her chest on his.

“Yes,” he said, “I can endure even this.”

After finishing another cold-cereal breakfast, I made a mental note to get more groceries for this house. I was about to explain about kisses, but Lana beat me to it. She explained how we had come to kiss him twice each, then summarized what she had told Brett about us girls, fairness, and jealousy.

“So, each of you is owed a couple of really nice, closed-mouth kisses with Brett. I haven’t broached this with Beth or the others as I just thought of it. With the rest of the ... what did you call it?”

Heather replied, “The lunch-table gang, or LTG.”

“Yeah. With the rest of the LTG expected to arrive before lunch, we should get those kisses completed before then. Or-rr-rr-rr, if someone wanted, I suppose she could hold one of them in ... reserve for a future opportunity. Beth, I’m still new to this girl-group thing. Is that something we could do?”

Heather beat me responding with, “I don’t see a problem with it. I’m definitely interested in holding one in reserve for a time that I absolutely need a Brett pick-me-up.”

“What,” Brett interjected trying to be funny. “You want me to pick you up when I kiss you?”

“Okay. That’d be great!”

There was much laughing, with Liya beaming her smile, then saying, “You’ve gotta be careful how you say things to her. She’s got a twisty mind that can have you on your back wondering what cute little thing just ran over you.”

“Yeah, I see that. And she really is a cute little thing.”

“Just for that, I’m claiming my first kiss now.”

Heather took a short running leap, forcing Brett to catch her, then plastered her mouth to his. He had no recourse but to kiss her back ... and, given that she had her legs wrapped around his waist, hold her up by her butt. Well, just barely off her butt on the very upper portions of her legs. She held the kiss for about 45 seconds, then leaned back still attached to him like a leech.

She turned to Lana and said, “Thanks for teaching him to kiss. That was great!” She looked back at him and added, “I’m saving my second one. If at some time in the future you find yourself on your back seeing stars, that will have been me claiming my second kiss.”

The response to her last sentence was solid silence, until Lana said, “You’re just a little force of nature. Aren’t you?”

Still attached to Brett, Heather replied, “Actually, if you’d met me six months ago, you’d have seen a very different me. My girlfriends here released me from durance vile and let this me shine through.”

Rhee said, “She speaks the truth. She was quiet, somewhat shy, and a little scared. We were amazed by this Heather when we met her. We released the genie from her bottle.”

Heather began letting herself slide down Brett’s front, so he released her legs. When her feet hit the floor, she leaned against him for a couple of seconds, then returned to her spot on the floor leaning against the fridge.

Lana asked, “Anyone else?” She showed something of a surprised face, then added, “I forgot. All these owed kisses must take place with others of us as witness. It’s not that we don’t trust folks. It’s just what we need do to make this ... group thing work. It’s going to be difficult enough as it is without someone getting it into her head that one of us has gotten private one-on-one time with Brett when we’re specifically trying to keep that from happening for the health of the group.”

I stared at Lana in something like amazement. When she finally looked at me, I stepped over to her and wrapped her in my arms, and squeezed her tightly.

After 15 or 20 seconds, I leaned back and said, “I’m very glad you’re here, and I’m particularly glad you’ve figured out what the five of us had to discuss on multiple occasions to understand as thoroughly as you do,” and then leaned back in and kissed her forehead.

“Thanks. You know, anytime you want to kiss my forehead or cheek, I wouldn’t mind at all if you kissed my lips instead. I think we girls are still allowed to have kisses with each other without having to allow for fair play.”

I chuckled and smiled at her, then leaned in and planted a short kiss on her lips. Or, at least, I intended it to be short. She pulled me in more tightly, rotated her head a bit more, and greatly intensified the kiss, which went on for a half-minute or so.

When she pulled away, she stated, “No, I wouldn’t mind at all, not one little bit!”

Rhee said, “While you might not have to be concerned with fair play in relation to Brett for such kisses, the rest of Beth’s lovers might want equal time.”

“Rhee, I’m not easy. Except for one girl, every person I’ve ever kissed ... well, except for my parents, is in this room. That said, I’d still welcome a kiss from you any time, particularly if you wrap that amazing body around me. But, for me for now, if you’re going to do it, it must be with ... witnesses from this group. Since I’ll be living with Brett, any sort of intimate behavior in which I engage must be with others of the group present. No one of us should do anything to cause doubt or concern by others of us. This is, and has to be, an all-for-all situation. The pre-existing relationships obviously need to be grandfathered in, but any hanky-panky between groups or either Brett or me must have one or more ... preferably more, of the rest of us present.”

Cera asked, “Do you mean that you won’t kiss Brett or ... snuggle ... energetically with Brett without one or more of us also present?”

“Absolutely. It must be that way. Not only do we need to keep how we feel from his parents, but we also need you girls to know as well as you can that we’re not getting something on the side that no one else gets or could get. I pledge to you girls here and now that barring Brett losing his mind, overpowering me, and having his way with me, we will not be any more intimate away from all of you girls than a peck on a cheek or like a quick, good-night hug.”

Brit said, “You really want this.”

“More than anything I’ve ever wanted.”

All the girls decided to get one kiss now and keep one in reserve. While we were all socializing in the living room, I stepped away to call Mom and discuss our plans for lunch over there.

Meka took that opportunity to grab a private chat, which she introduced with a full-body hug. I breathed deeply and began to say something, but she started first.

“Oh, this feels good. So good that I shouldn’t kiss you while holding you like this. I would have no chance of maintaining control.”

I snorted lightly and replied, “I was going to say much the same thing.”

After we stepped apart, she said, “Lana, though perhaps a bit too talkative, seems a very good fit for ... this. She’s got an obvious brain that she’s not afraid to use, and she’s very quick. I think you’ve got competition for the head-honcho position.” She chuckled when I frowned at her, then said, “I know. I know you don’t need to lead, but you’re just so good at it. She also seems good, but I don’t think you need to worry about her in that vein. Once she establishes her bona fides with the group, I think she’ll back off a little. You two need to work together on everything related to the larger group as it relates to its relationship with Brett, and she seems perfectly aware of that. She’s certainly gone straight to you on several occasions, already. She truly understands and made obvious today that she understands, the pitfalls, most of them, anyway, that you’ll have to avoid if this ... idea can come together. Of course, you’re still in charge of solving the most-difficult pitfall, and I don’t envy you that, as I still see no solution other than just telling him. I think he cares about you, you particularly, but the larger you, also, and would not ruin your life ... lives by informing on your various parents. I just don’t see that happening, but I could see him rejecting some aspect of you, either you, Beth; the Go5; or even the larger group of eight or whatever it winds up being.”

“That’s my fallback position. I, too, have trouble seeing him wanting to ruin so many lives, but I can’t quite convince myself of it, probably because it would ruin the lives of so many people I love, with even you becoming complicit when you turn 18.” I breathed deeply to stave off crying, then asked, “How can I do this? I love so many people, now, and all of them would be damaged by the wrong person learning about the family. I don’t know, and perhaps it’s just my paranoia, but I’ve been wondering if Dad’s pulling away. It’s almost certainly paranoia, as I’m virtually certain that Dad would talk to us if he felt the need to pull away. I’m losing sleep over this, although not last night. I was calm when we went to bed and woke that way after a lot of sleep.” I looked up at her after looking at my feet for most of that, and said, “In a different vein, I’ve gotten to the point that I don’t know if I could sleep if I were alone. I’m just so used to having bed partners that I can hold onto. Lana and I both woke curled into Brett. When I opened my eyes to see those green eyes looking at me, I felt nothing like jealousy. In fact, I felt...”

I frowned trying to figure out what it was I felt when I saw her looking at me, trying to recall exactly what I thought.

“It wasn’t even like, ‘Oh, there’s this new person in my bed.’ It was sort of like, ‘Oh, there you are.’ I’m not sure what that means, but I have my suspicions.”

“It sounds to me like once you met her on Wednesday, she seemed to fit, and you just expected her to be an intimate part of your life. I’ve seen you do that before. It was a slower process, but that’s what you ... and your lovers did for Brit and Cera. Yes, you didn’t expect them to join in your sex life. At least, I think you didn’t. But you did treat them as friends from the start. I’ve learned that you do that with most people, which is one of the things about you I’m most amazed, and one of the reasons... [her voice became more liquid at this point] I’m falling in love with you.”

I closed my eyes and grimaced, internally I hope, then looked at Meka.

“And how does that work? If you decide to allow or to pursue a sexual relationship with the Go5, how does that work with all the rest of this? I’m getting overwhelmed by ... not my libido, although that may be part of it, but with the number of people that I’ve come to love or am coming to love. Where does it end?”

“I don’t know that, but I know if I go all in with the Go5, I’m also going all in with all the rest of it. I’m still not sure whether that includes Charlie or Brett or Celeste, but Brit and Cera? Yeah. With Lana? Probably, given my apparent affinity for blondes and those incredible eyes of hers. Kim? Refer again to the blonde thing and add in that she’s been a good friend for years. But then, despite her apparent protestations about Brett, I’ve come to believe that she wants into whatever would get her a piece of Brett. You know, he’s going to have a bigger harem at 15 or 16 than your dad does now. It’s probably a good thing you’re getting practice as part of another harem,” after which she snorted, then chuckled.

I shook my head in faux exasperation, then stepped into her, put my arms around her, and laid my head on her left shoulder. Seeing her neck there, I leaned in and kissed it. She moaned. I apologized.

“You don’t have to apologize. I enjoyed that. I know and you know that makes it more difficult for me to hold off, but there are few experiences in my life for which I’d have traded that away. It felt like ... like we were already intimate and that you were just saying ‘hi’ to your lover.”

I looked up at her, stared into her dark eyes for a few seconds, then responded, “In a way, I was. I feel we are lovers, just ... in a future we haven’t yet reached. We may not reach it tomorrow, three months from now, or four years hence, but I feel that we’re lovers.”

She tilted her head back and sniffled at the ceiling. I could see a tear escape her left eye, as she looked back down at me.

“God, Beth. You make me crazy.” She sniffled again, then added, “I need to have that heart-to-heart with Dad. I need to talk this out with someone I trust wholeheartedly but who isn’t quite as tied into your family, and there’s only one person who fits both criteria. If Sandy doesn’t get him out here soon, I may have to kidnap him.”

She had made tears erupt into my eyes, but that last made me chuckle. A liquid chuckle, but a chuckle, nonetheless.

Katie arrived with all three of the other seniors. We introduced Lana to them.

“Damn,” Katie exclaimed. “Those eyes are spectacular. Oh, you’re the girl Mom told me about that was in the store on ... Wednesday.” She saw Lana’s confusion, so added, “We own the ice cream store you visited.”

“Oh. Wow. How are you in such great shape? If my family owned an ice cream parlor, I’d probably be roly-poly.”

There was much chuckling.

Katie replied, “As may be typical for kids growing up with such, I’m not gaga over ice cream. Also, I’ve played soccer for a long time, and these new friends of yours have insisted that I keep working out with them even though our season is long over.”

I rolled my eyes at Katie. She responded by pinching my cheek and grinning at me. I announced the plan for lunch and led everyone over to ... the Williams house. We climbed the back stairs to the deck where Dad was tending the grill on this pleasant day.

“Hi, ladies, Brett. Lunch’ll be another 15 minutes or so.”

Brett stepped up with Lana but was interrupted by Sandy and Carol coming out onto the deck, so he shifted gears.

“Lana Webster, please meet Sandy and Charlie Williams, Beth’s mom and dad and pseudo-parents to many of these other girls. I’d also like to introduce Carol ... Has Williams become final?” When Carol shook her head, he said, “I’d like to introduce Carol soon-to-be Williams. She is Rhee’s mom and a pseudo-mom to the same girls of whom Sandy and Charlie are pseudo-parents. Sandy, Carol, Charlie, Lana is my cousin and daughter of my mom’s younger sister. Despite that my mom’s two years older and was married longer before I came along, Lana is older than me by nearly two months. We’ve been raised a bit more like siblings than cousins, although we get along better than many siblings.”

Mom said, “It’s lovely to meet you, Lana, we’ve been looking forward to this. You’ve probably already gotten a lot of such reactions, but anytime you want to trade eyes with me, I’m good with it. You’re quite lovely, but those eyes help make you spectacular. We understand that you’re now living in Brett’s house. Yes?” When Lana nodded, Mom continued with, “Good. As for Brett, you’re welcome here anytime. Just give Beth or any of the other girls a holler.”

“Thanks, uhh...” [she quickly turned to Brett, who nodded] “Sandy. It’s very nice to meet all of you. Brett’s told me good things about, you, this house, and your various daughters. I’ve greatly liked meeting your daughters, and they’re everything that Brett bragged about them, if not even prettier and nicer. I can see where Beth and Rhee got their looks and their ... differing but lovely bodies.” Lana blushed upon saying that last, then said, “I tend to talk a lot, like his mom, and my mom tells me I don’t have much of a filter on my mouth. I meant no disrespect to either of you.”

Carol replied, “And we did not take it as disrespect but as a compliment. You’ll be going to school with our girls. Yes? Your last name is Webster. Yes?” After Lana nodded to both, Carol continued, “Then you’ll probably be in the same homeroom as Beth and Heather. Make sure they introduce you around.”

The parents greeted by name the various other girls that don’t live here, and we eventually sat to a great lunch: those cheese-stuffed lamb burgers, which were so well received the last time we had the whole LTG here. We socialized there with the three parents for a time during which Inez got home from the university. Gracey made the appropriate introductions.

Brit grabbed the floor, asking, “Is everyone comfortable with doing any nail painting here on the deck since it’s such a lovely day?” When everyone agreed, she stated, “We probably can’t get everyone done today, so I’ll prioritize any that aren’t staying overnight and try to finish tomorrow morning with anyone still here. Who’s not staying?”

Rachel’s boyfriend was picking her up here, and Katie was taking Hope home, as her family had previous plans, before going home herself, as she had to work the evening shift at The Cold Sweets. Given how nice a day it was, the ice cream parlor would probably be busy. Rachel, who went first as she would be the first to leave, requested something in rich blues.

Brit thought for a minute, then asked, “May I put in some white bits?”

“You’re the one who knows what she’s doing. I leave it to you, but good, rich blues would go well with what I’m wearing tonight.”

Brit nodded and went to work, Cera volunteering to be her assistant. Not only is Brit good at coming up with interesting schemes, but she’s also very proficient and very quick. In what seemed like next to no time, Rachel had a fingernail pattern of declining darkness in blue, starting with midnight blue on her pinkies, shading to a medium blue she called Little Boy Blue on her thumbs.

When she had all ten nails painted with the five shades of blue, she said, “Sit over there and let them dry. I’m going to make some small additions once they are. In the interim, who’s next?”

Katie sat down across from Brit and Cera and stated, “Give me something in yellow.”