Chapter 118

December 31, 2017

Dear Ms. Diary,

[Written January 3-4]

I woke before the others, although not stupid early, and looked at the lay of the ... bed. Unsurprisingly, particularly given that I was on an end, I was curled tightly into Brett, with, perhaps, a third of my weight on him. I admitted to myself that, like Brett, I could get used to this, particularly with his right arm around me, the hand on my shoulder. Interestingly, Rhee was not curled into him, but into Meka beyond her. In fact, the position the two of them were in was remarkably like that of Brett and me. I snuggled minutely more into him and let my mind go through the things I wanted to accomplish today, many of them items that should be brought to a parliamentary vote. Four of us still need nail jobs, and then there was breakfast at Granny Brown’s with the parents.

I had gotten lost in deciding what I’d choose from Granny Brown’s menu when Brett curtailed my concentration on the review of today’s schedule by gently playing with my hair. Fu-ucckk. He does not need to be even more alluring, even more a guy that made it far too pleasant to spend casually intimate time in bed.

Quietly and without looking at him, I said, “I’ll give you an hour to stop playing with my hair.”

He whispered, “Sorry, your hair is one of the things I’ve always liked about you. I promise to spend no more than, say, 55 minutes playing with it.”

I clenched my jaws and held my breath to stave off tears, which I managed, but mainly because Rhee came to my rescue.

“Brett,” she asked quietly, “is there a rare book that you’ve found that lets you know all the things to do to make us even crazier about you? How is it that you know so many little things to do that embed you even more firmly in ... our hearts?”

“No, I don’t, and I’m not sure I could do things from a book and make them seem uncontrived. No, it’s something my mom did when I was sick as a little kid. I thought it was probably not a gender-related thing.”

“So, you just woke up and decided that you wanted to make one of your girlfriends feel loved ... and drive her out of her mind? Brett, that’s something she really loves. We girls learned that early in our relationship, and I guarantee that she’s lying there as still as possible while she tries like hell to keep from crying with joy. You could probably have done nothing else more likely to cause her ... love for you to grow this morning ... or to encourage her to rape you.”

Okay. She came to my rescue only to sell me out. I cried as quietly and gently as I could manage, but he noticed and pulled his hand from my head.

Liquidly, I said, “My crying was not a suggestion that you should stop.”

“Okay, but I thought you might be embarrassed later. You know ... after you raped me.”

His hand returned, first to make a long pet from my forehead to my nape, then he returned to fondling the hair on my head, as well as that spilling down my back. I let him go for a few minutes, then slowly sat up.

“Brett. I ... You...”

I knew what I wanted to say but could not figure out how to say that if he had kept at it much longer, I was going to have to remove my PJs and try to get his off him. I breathed deeply, then made a stab at something completely different.

“Thank you. That felt ... divine.”

Yes. Divinely erotic such that you would have to fight me off to maintain your virginity. Okay, so not completely different. Instead of saying that to him, I just looked at him, staring into his eyes. Then got out of bed abruptly and said over my shoulder as I was heading to the door, “Bathroom.” I could not have been sitting on the toilet for more than 20 seconds when Rhee crept in.

“Did Brett just miss out on getting his bones jumped?”

“Oh, god, Rhee!” I breathed deeply twice in quick succession, then added, “Oh, god. I was so close to ... I don’t know what, but whatever it was, I wanted it. This whole thing would be a lot easier if he weren’t so ... so nearly perfect. We might have to tell him about Dad if only to get this ... situation someplace ... anyplace different. To be able to go forward or to have to retreat.”

I breathed deeply and slowly and settled my mind.

“Okay. I’m okay, now. Yes, he came close to having a distinctly sexual experience with me, even if it was just me trying to get him out of his pajamas.”

“I don’t blame you. I know what playing with your hair does to you. I’ve also been wondering how wonderful he looks with nothing on. I would probably have helped him stop you, but I can’t guarantee that.”

She followed that sentence with her smirky grin, to which I slowly shook my head and said, “I love you so much, Rhee. My life would be nowhere near as wonderful if you weren’t in it.”

“That’s all well and good, but ... would you get off the damned toilet? I’ve gotta pee!”

Gathered in the living room, various of us still in PJs, I said, “I have a few things to bring up with everyone. The most important is that I believe Brett does not need a chaperone in bed. I fully believe that he will not push it, will not try things, and I don’t want anyone thinking I’m hogging him. The ... Go5 made the decision to have me next to him in bed as they ... we thought I would put a damper on ... any bright ideas he might get.”

Brett interrupted, asking, “Are you upset with me for playing with your hair?”

“No, Brett. Don’t you see? If anything, I had the opposite reaction, although I had already determined to bring this up with the whole group before you drove me out of my mind.”

Heather asked, “Did you say you played with her hair?” When he nodded, she asked, “Softly and ... sort of ... lovingly?” When he nodded again, she asked, “Are you still a virgin after that?”

The Go5 and Meka erupted in laughter. The rest looked confused until Rhee explained my reactions to that.

She ended with, “That is the surest way to get her motor running on high in the morning.”

“Thanks for that, dearest Rhee. Now, everyone will think I’m a sex maniac.” I grinned at her, then went back to the subject, saying, “Is everyone okay with putting the kibosh on Brett’s chaperone, or should we discuss it and bring it to a vote?”

No one was particularly hot for retaining the chaperone, so I made my second suggestion, “I think we should make the rule that no one of us girls can get two consecutive nights with Brett, even if those nights aren’t consecutive. That is, every girl sleeping with him one night is ineligible to sleep with him the next time the possibility exists, whether that’s the very next night, or two weekends later. As Lana said so well yesterday, we want to allay jealousy as much as we can, and we all know that one can flip a coin and get heads many, many times in a row.”

There was a lot of discussion, but Heather introduced something of a monkey wrench.

“Only the ... Williams-house residents know this, but we’re planning on a really large bed for the attic bedroom here and a huge bed for the basement bedroom, being something like 15 feet from side to side. I think that restricting us from repeat nights with Brett might leave Brett by himself if all seven girls present that night had shared the huge bed with him the night before. I suggest two alterations to how we assign bed partners on sleepover nights. The first is dealing with the problems created by the larger beds and the second is that Liya’s spreadsheet should track which girls sleep immediately adjacent to Brett, which could also help with the problems created by the larger beds.”

“I can do that, but I want to make sure that I understand your point, Heather. As an example, we have Brett and seven girls for a two-night sleepover, and we decide to use the huge basement bed both nights. In that case, we just want to spread adjacency to Brett among us, so we need a way to ... spread the wealth, so to speak, unless there’s some important reason to suspend that rule.”

“Like what,” Lana asked.

“Perhaps, like your last weekend here before you must return to Yellow Springs for ... who knows how long. In that case, I’d be more than willing to allow you to be next to him both nights. I’d also be fine with relaxing some other rules for a situation like that.”

“Oh. Obviously, I agree with that.”

There was some chuckling.

“I still can’t believe that we must jump through so many hoops just to determine who sleeps with whom or who sleeps next to me. I guess I don’t understand why you girls would put up with this for me.”

The silence was thick as ten girls stared at Brett. I caught Brit’s sidelong look at me out of the corner of my eye, so I glanced through the others quickly, then spoke.

“We all like you. Hell, I wouldn’t be surprised if all the girls here weren’t already somewhat in love with you. Me, I have four sisters with whom I share virtually everything. I would not be willing to have a sexual relationship with you that did not include my sisters. The Go5 has just taken on two new members to become the Go7. While we’ve had no time to get together and discuss how each of us sees things like this, the Go7 may decide that extra-Go7 sexual relationships that do not include all members will not be allowed. One of the other important considerations is what if the girl you want most, call her Girl X, declines the relationship, other girls may feel you’re settling for her or them because you couldn’t have Girl X. That’s a poor basis for a close relationship, and that’s what a sexual relationship ought to be: Close, very close. The above means that if any of us have a sexual relationship with you, it will be shared with however many of us have the mental wherewithal to deal with that. The reason that...”

Brit interjected, saying, “Brett, surely, you’ve seen how well Beth, Rhee, Gracey, Liya, and Heather work together. The only reason that thing works and has worked for six months is that they have tried to figure out how to make it work. I’m not privy to much of their inner workings, but they must have discussed a lot of aspects of their lives and how to make the relationship of those five strong personalities as conflict-free as they can make it. I don’t have experience with love as they do, but reading about and watching how the world works, simple two-person love affairs are very difficult to make work. Three of those girls’ fathers are not in their lives because the sexual relationship between them and their respective wives, these girls’ mothers, did ... not ... work.

“Brett,” Brit said more softly, “Lana laid it out for us yesterday. Jealousy is the single aspect that has the best chance of turning that future possibility into ashes. It would be more than tricky enough to get it to work even if we hit no speed bumps, but we’re talking about a lot of individuals here, with their individual beliefs and desires. I can see individuals opting out because they just can’t deal with not being first ... or even sixth. Look at the Go5, again. They consider their plural relationship to be more important than any ... other ... relationship. Beth, who is almost certainly Girl X, has told you that she values their relationship over having a relationship with only you from which her four sisters were excluded. The relationship we’re discussing here may wind up being twice as large. There are already eight of us that have, essentially, signed on to share you in that future possibility. I would be surprised if, even with only eight, we can get there.”

Brett stared, mouth slightly open, at Brit for probably a half-minute, then asked, “But, why, Brit? Why do you want me ... or ... this ... so much?”

“Brett, I’ve been mildly unhappy for years after my mom divorced. I had hopes that when she remarried, things would be better, but I got two stepbrothers that are not even worth the cost of the two bullets to put them out of my misery. I must always be alert in my own house because they threaten my virginity.

“This group of girls gathered here, the five originals from the lunch table, Cera, and even Meka, are the first really good friends I’ve had in years. Getting to know that quintet better, I was surprised to begin suspecting that they were sexually involved with each other. Cera and I became friends, then good friends, then really good friends. Because of that last bit, I got enough nerve to ask her about ... sex with girls, and what she thought about it. I was surprised to find that she was not against it and had wondered. That subject led to us discussing the Go5’s relationship, one that seems to have produced some very happy girls, girls that obviously loved and respected each other. Cera and I wondered if we could get to that point with each other, so we started down that road, but have not progressed very far. Where we have progressed is agreeing with each other that we want those girls in our lives, as positive examples, yes, but mainly because they seem to create fun and happiness.

“Brett, some number of us have started down the road of a long-term sexual relationship with you. Yes, there’s been only one day of overt sexuality, but make no mistake, we are now in a sexual relationship, even if we do nothing else like Friday for a long time. We will all have those memories. Some of us think there cannot be a long-lasting sexual relationship with you that does not include Girl X, and Cera and I think that there cannot be such without including all five of the Go5. Cera and I want in, and we fully understand that we need those five involved, or else you’re probably settling for less than you want. We’re not sure what Lana’s inclusion does to our figuring in this, but I look at her as ... Girl X2, maybe. Jealousy of any of the other girls will kill this. I have little doubt that the odds are strongly against us, but this relationship will not fail because of me, because I wasn’t committed enough, I didn’t love my ... girlfriends enough. Just like Lana, I want this more than anything I’ve ... ever ... wanted ... before, and I will do what I must to make it work.”

She looked at him with a determined expression as he looked at her. He suddenly breathed deeply, exhaling noisily, then stepped over to the chair in which she was sitting and held his hand out to her. She looked up into his eyes, then put her hand in his and stood.

“May I hug you?”

She nodded slightly, so Brett gently enfolded her. She kept her arms at her sides and rested the left side of her face on his left shoulder with her eyes closed. He laid a short, gentle peck on the back of her head.

Still holding Brit, Brett talked loudly enough for all to hear, “My entire experience with the girlfriend-boyfriend thing is very recent and is entirely with you girls. I don’t know what to do or how to do it. Yes, that’s mostly true for the physical aspects of such relationships, but I’m talking about the ... emotional and personal aspects of them. I’ve also no knowledge of how such relationships including more than two people work. Brit, I don’t really understand, but I’m more than willing to learn. You ... and, particularly, the other girls will have to teach me. This will probably not be the last time I question things you girls insist must be, must happen in some particular way.”

He leaned his torso back a bit and encouraged Brit to look at him, then said, “Please don’t interpret my questions as meaning I think what you’ve said or done is silly or unnecessary. I am so far out of my depth with ... all of this. You’ve now explained to me why you girls need to focus your efforts on each other to make this work. I understand. I will ... follow along with you, because, as Lana said, I want this more than anything I’ve ever wanted before. I’ve acknowledged that you girls are in charge, and I meant it, I just need to understand the reasons behind the choices, the decisions you girls make.”

Brit looked nearly levelly into his eyes, nodded, moved her arms to wrap around him, laid her head back on his left shoulder, then said, “Do you know that you’re the only boy I’ve ever even hugged? Ever even kissed on the cheeks, much less on the lips? I don’t really know what I’m doing on the physical side of things, either. Many of us will have to learn both the physical and emotional aspects of this girlfriend-boyfriend thing. That’s one more reason that we ... many or most of us, and you ... really need to take this slowly and very carefully, because this will be so much more difficult than a relationship including only two beginners like many of us.

“Brett, we can all see the evidence when you get turned on. We understand that evidence. We understand that you could want to move things along when you are showing that evidence. Perhaps what you don’t know, is something that I don’t actually know but which I’m fairly certain is accurate, and that is most or all of the girls, perhaps even the women, also thought of moving things along on Friday. However, getting too far along too soon is another thing that could end the fantasy. Each freshman girl is beginning her first relationship with a boy. Had all of us had Kim’s experience, this would have been a lot easier, as we’d have all learned some of those things that kill relationships or stress them severely. We cannot afford even one of those stressors. While our focus will be on the other girls, that is solely to keep us together ... for you. That may be the bit you don’t get. We’re not this worried about being with each other, we’re worried about making sure that we don’t inadvertently annoy, even piss off, one or more of the other girls, such that one or more of us quit on this effort. We’re all friends with each other and trying to share could cause friendships to break. I don’t know about the others, but given that I’m certainly not Girl X, I’d rather give up on you, than on these crazy girls that I desperately want to keep as friends. Do you understand that?”

Brett nodded slowly, then said, “Yes. That’s the piece that I didn’t see. I, too, don’t want to lose any of these friends.”

Brit had one more item to clarify, saying, “Please bear with us, particularly if you feel we’re not paying you sufficient attention. Although we haven’t talked about this, specifically, it will be much better for all of us if other friends and classmates do not learn that our ... LTG relationship has changed this weekend. We need to maintain the appearance of the platonic ... close but platonic friendship that we’ve presented before this weekend. Yes, we won’t be doing anything obviously sexual for a long time, but with the sexual experience you now have with each of us and each of us has with you, it would be very easy to fall into that mindset and say or do something that gets others thinking. Us thinking about ourselves, trying to figure out how we fit together, is good. Everyone else doing the same is not.”

After a Granny Brown’s breakfast, we returned to the Williams house to set Brit doing more nails.

After Brit asked what she wanted, Kim said, “Surprise me. I don’t need anything to match an outfit. I prefer green, but after seeing what you produced yesterday, I doubt that I would be disappointed in anything you put on my nails.”

“Only ten nails, or all 20?”

“Oh, sorry. If you don’t mind, all 20.”

“Would you mind something somewhat similar to one of yesterday’s patterns, or something original in the gang?”

“As long as it’s not a blatant copy, I’m good.”

Brit pondered for a bit, then asked Cera for colors and the small palette and went to work. Most of what she put on Kim were color blends. She put a medium green on Kim’s two thumbs, then blended that color with increasing proportions of a medium yellow outward on her right hand and inward on her right foot, with her right big toe getting that medium yellow. She then did the same with Kim’s left extremities, but mixed the green with a medium blue, then put that medium blue on her left big toe nail.

“This is wonderful! Thanks, Brit. My family doesn’t own a produce store, so I can’t give you free limes, but please call on me if there’s something I can do for you.” Kim looked deeply at Brit, then added, “I’ve enjoyed this fall seeing you becoming who you are now. I didn’t think you’d work out on the team, but you proved me wrong. You know, you and I are quite different, but we both ... are better off now because of those five girls. I’m out of a relationship that was beginning to take me down and you’re just beginning a tentative relationship with the guy that showed me that I could do much better for myself than what I had. Even a month ago, I could not have seen how a girl could put up with having to share a guy, but you girls might be right about this thing with Brett. If you can get around or past the possible jealousy, this could work for you.”

“Thanks. I know it’ll be work, but I’m committed.” Brit looked quickly around the deck, looked briefly at those of us sitting at the table with her – Heather, Meka, and me, then quietly added, “You know, I have this feeling that Brett’s ... harem will get larger. There seem to be few such really great guys, particularly with his incredible looks. I’ve decided that I won’t object to additions as long as she or they fit well with all of us... [she looked around again] and would be interested in girl-on-girl. Of course, any addition would have to have figured that out on the front end, as from what I’ve read, guys have only so much ... endurance. I’m actually looking forward to learning how ... to ... love girls. I hope that doesn’t squick you out.”

It was Kim’s turn to look around the deck, after which she answered, “It doesn’t, because I’ve done a little of that with my best friend in 7th and 8th grades. I was sad when her family moved to freaking New Jersey. If they wouldn’t have moved, perhaps I wouldn’t have been quite so desperate to have someone and wound up with...” She looked up, specifically at Meka, then turned back to Brit, saying, “Most girls might be better off with some outlet other than high-school boys. Obviously, Rachel wouldn’t have been, but I’m not the only one I know who ... settled for something less than what they really wanted. Had Brett been in my grade, I hope I’d have had the sense you girls did to work on him to overcome his shyness and be willing to share. I don’t know that I could have shared with so many others, but it might be that having only part of a really great guy is better than having all of the wrong guy, although with whom you’re sharing is critical, too. I really do wish you girls good luck.”

Brit sat up straight and grinned at Kim, then told her, “You know, if things don’t work for you, I’m pretty sure that at least some of us wouldn’t mind sharing with you.”

Meka and I joined in with their laughter and I smiled at Kim when she looked at me while Brit loudly called, “Next.” When no one came running, Brit turned to Cera, saying, “I guess you’re next. Whaddaya want this time?”

Cera looked into Brit’s eyes and replied, “I’d like a quick kiss ... with you.”

Although she had had fewer than Brett, Brit has also removed this fall walls that had caged her. She put her left hand behind Cera’s head and pulled it to hers, whereupon she laid an intense kiss on her friend and recent lover-of-sorts.

When she pulled away, Brit said, “I doubt I’m doing that as well as, say Kim or Beth, but that sure felt good to me!”

Cera looked around as she could hear Gracey on the stairs from the yard, then quietly said, “It was more than enough to get me all hot and bothered.” She faced the stairs and waited for Gracey to summit, then said, “Your turn, Girl!”

“First I have to see Kim’s,” and exclaimed loudly when Kim modeled for her. Gracey looked Kim up and down, and not just her nails, then told her, “You would look spectacular in one of those outfits we wore Friday that you haven’t seen. Liya still has plenty of cloth for a black top for you, and we could find you a sexy white panty to wear.” Not letting Kim get a word in, Gracey continued with, “In fact, I think we should have an LTG weekend on which that is the only clothing the girls are allowed to wear, except for those girls sleeping with him. Interested?”

Kim looked like she felt a little run-over as Meka chortled loudly.

Kim looked at Meka, who shrugged, then said, “You didn’t have sex this weekend, but I bet it’s been a while since you enjoyed one as much as this one. Besides, Gracey’s right. You’d look oh so spectacular in one of those outfits.”

Brit jumped on the bandwagon, saying, “If only it didn’t take so long to paint bodies. I’d love to have a weekend, a long weekend, in which I could paint all my friends’ bodies with outrageous scenes.” She took on a thinking look and added, “Maybe some sort of spraying apparatus would be quicker than brushes.” She looked at Kim, then with a less-excited voice, said, “You’re trying to stay a bit aloof with us, but we all really like you and wish that you’d let your guard down at least a little more. I have a feeling that, after this weekend, we girls are going to have a lot more get-togethers, and, assuming I’m not out of line by saying it, I bet you could have a standing invitation to join us.”

I quickly said, “You could. In fact, I’ll offer it, now. Kim, we’ll invite you to everything we do as a gang of girls or as a gang of girls and a very lucky and bamboozled guy. You certainly needn’t accept every invitation, but we would like you to spend more time with us. In fact, Charlize will be joining us for, probably, at least one weekend a month starting in January, and I know she’d appreciate getting to know you. I almost wish Katie didn’t have to work at the store, as we’d like to include her in more stuff, but I’ll ask her.”

With Meka, Kim, Liya, Lana, and Heather entertaining Brett in the backyards with frisbees, Gracey got a complicated four-extremity pattern with her favorite color combo: small black ants as seen from above on bright yellow nails.

When Brit painted the first ant on her left index finger, Gracey asked, “How did you know I like ants?”

Brit looked into her eyes and answered, “I’ve spent a lot of the last two weeks learning a lot about my ... new friends because I was ... hoping that what happened this weekend would happen, that Cera and I would be fully accepted into your non-school gang. So, I know that you used to have an ant farm and that you did a special project about ants for the biology class you took a year early ... last year.”

Gracey made a quick look around, then quietly asked, “You two really want all the way in with us?”

Brit glanced at Cera, who pulled Brit in a bit with her left arm, then replied, “Yes. We’re a bit ... nervous, but we want it all. We even want something like Lana described yesterday, a big bed with a lot of naked girls. You can’t know how her fantasy meshed with what we thought were outlandish things that you girls might do ... and which ... turned us on like crazy. You five girls are all so different, but all of you are on our list of the ten sexiest girls in 9th grade.”

Cera said, “We didn’t include Hillary Pearson, as she’s just such a skank, despite her body. Actually, I guess she might be a skank at least partly because of that body.” If she were lighter skinned, Cera might have shown a blush as she said, “We disagreed with who was the sexiest, but Brit’s top pick was my second and vice-versa.”

Brit added, “We talked about why we placed girls in the top ten or not. Because of that, we figured something out that we should have seen as important before that. You five, and, to some extent, every one of the seniors, although we didn’t rank them, have a ... feature that some prettier girls lacked, causing them to fall farther down the list.”

Cera interjected, “Confidence. You girls ... give off confidence like it’s a ... a ... perfume. I think we’ve been ... developing some of that.”

“You absolutely have been. Look at how confidently Brit ran the show on Friday, then explained the facts of life to Brett on, not one, but two occasions.” I turned my head slightly to face Brit directly and added, “You’ve really changed a lot from that girl that tentatively asked to eat with us at school. You haven’t changed quite as much as Heather has, but your developing confidence has become obvious. You know the boys in our grade have taken notice. Right?”

Brit went pink, nodded, and responded, “Yes, but I’d rather share Brett with eight or a dozen of my best friends than, as Kim said, own every single bit of the wrong guy. Despite that Cera and I haven’t done much with each other, in fact, haven’t ... had our ... panties off when we were alone, we’ve talked extensively about what we want, and we’ll tell you plainly what that is.”

When Brit turned to look at Cera, she took up the telling, saying, “We want it all, and we want to learn it all. We want to learn how to ... love girls. We want you to love our ... bodies and we want to love yours. We want to be there ... and available if the fantasy with Brett works out,” after which, she looked back at Brit.

Brit took up the mantle, asking, “Umm, what about ... Charlize? Is she in...”