Chapter 124

January 12, 2018

Dear Ms. Diary,

[Written January 14]

I was dragging a bit after the alarm woke me, due to the long, but wonderful night. At least we got to sleep here; the parents went to the Devlin house.

At lunch, I broached the idea of getting with the boys for a pick-up game tomorrow.

Meka responded, “I’ll see Jamaal in 6^th Bell; I’ll suggest it to him. What do you think about getting Celeste to see if Andressa would be available?”

I, and others, grinned at Meka, nodded, and asked her to take it up with Celeste.

We picked Civia up from her school and took her home with us, shortly after which, she and most of the family rode in the Sprinter and Suburban to her old house to help with the move. Carol and Gracey stayed behind, as they were picking up Inez at the airport. Since the Paleceks had been moving single carloads frequently this week, we mainly helped move the big stuff in the rental truck and assisted with the final cleaning. They were spending their first night in the new house tonight. I texted Gracey and Charlize to let them know that we were leaving the old Palecek house to return home.

Charlize hugged me tightly, and for more than just a few seconds, when we returned. She then gave Rhee, Liya, and Heather long hugs. Finally, she gave briefer hugs to Meka, Dad, and Mom.

After the four parents left for the Devlin house, Rhee said, “We need a shower. Anyone who wants to join us is welcome.”

Meka responded, “We’re an odd number, so I’ll go home and get my shower.”

Heather replied, “We’d prefer you shower with us. There should be enough room to see if my ideas about a three-way buddy-wash system would work. Whaddaya say? Wanna join Gracey and me?”

Meka rolled her eyes and gave out a patently false groan, plaintively saying, “If I must.”

There was much chuckling.

As we were stepping into the shower, Liya said to Charlize, “We’ve slightly changed our buddy-wash system. It now takes a bit longer, as we’ve decided that the buddy washes her buddy’s chest ... with her hands. The rest is otherwise the same.”

Charlize looked a bit confused, then realized what Liya meant, and she sent her eyebrows skyward.

“Umm, wow.” She turned to Meka and asked, “You’re fine with that?”

“Yup. I was Beth’s buddy for the first shower after the alteration. I enjoyed that.”

Meka glanced at me with a questioning look and raised eyebrows, whereupon I nodded.

Meka continued with, “Charlize, there is something you need to know, partly because I know something about you that you might not be aware I know. I’m strongly considering joining these girls in their ... relationship. Would that be a problem for you?”

Charlize furrowed her brow in confusion, then her eyes went wide, and her face went pink.

Meka added, “Beth told me only this week about you. She probably would not have if you weren’t going to be here this weekend. Given how close I am to deciding in the positive, she felt I needed the information to make a fully informed decision. And, of course, that information is safe with me.”

Charlize looked at me, back at Meka, nodded slightly, and replied, “I understand.” She went even redder, ducked her head, then looked back up at Meka, and said, “I certainly have no objection to ... you being ... umm ... one of my ... girlfriends. You’re ... very pretty and ... incredibly ... sexy.”

Charlize’s face blazed scarlet, but she got that out without too much difficulty.

“Thank you, and I think much the same of you. Would you mind a naked hug?”

“Oh, god, no!”

Meka began gathering her carefully into her arms, but Charlize lunged into Meka’s embrace, with a not-quiet groan escaping her mouth when there was no space between them. Fortunately, no one had turned the shower heads on, yet, as Charlize began sobbing, causing Meka to tighten her embrace. In less than a minute, Charlize mastered her emotions and leaned back then gently stepped out of the hug.

“Thanks, Meka.” As she looked around at us, she added, “Umm, I’ll explain, but later. Okay?”

“Of course,” Rhee answered. Then she grinned around and said, “Let’s get this shower on the road, if I may mix metaphors.”

Rather than attempt the trio in something of a circle, which is what the Go4 had tried long ago, Heather had them in a line and it worked well. I admit not knowing why we did not think of that last year. I also admit that I reveled in washing Charlize’s chest, and, from her moans, she seemed to enjoy it, too. In fact, the seven of us spent no small amount of time on washing just that portion of the various bodies. We might have had the seven cleanest chests in the county.

As we were drying, Charlize said, “I certainly understand why you made the change. However, I think your choice, Liya, of length-of-time modifier ... that is, ‘a bit’ ... may need replacement.”

Liya grinned at her, then surprised her by smashing her front into Charlize’s, put her arms around her waist with her hands on her ass to pull her in tightly, and placed a doozy of a kiss on her.

When Liya pulled back, then released her, Charlize panted, then said, “Oh, damn, damn, damn! We need to have two discussions on ... No, I guess it’s one discussion of at least two aspects. And we need to have it when I’m not quite so ... excited ... so I can think.”

We eventually got back downstairs, primarily to have ice cream.

About 9:30, Meka said, “Given the frequent state of ... non-dress in which we find ourselves in both houses, we need to have some robes or some sort of covers – they don’t have to be much -- that we can easily throw on when going between houses here in your ... compound ... at least before the fence goes up.”

Heather replied, “That’s a good idea. You should bring it up with one of the Moms. We’d probably need a lot in both places to help ensure that all of them don’t wind up at the same time in one house or the other.”

Charlize responded, “You mean you’re ... Oh. I forgot that ... your parents know you’re naked here when they’re not home. This family surprises and amazes me at how ... close and how ... open everyone is with each other. I can’t imagine that with my family. Of course, I don’t have friends anywhere near close enough up there to spend time with them naked. I’m not even used to that here.”

Rhee came back with, “You spend a few more weekends with us. I’ll bet you get more comfortable with and used to it. We love it. Our problem is the reverse, that we sometimes come close to forgetting that we must put something on when going outside.”

Charlize said, “Umm, Meka, are you staying here, or was your comment about wraps preparatory to leaving?” When Meka indicated the latter, Charlize asked, “Would you please stay for a little while, because I want to explain to ... you and the others about my ... breakdown.”

“You don’t need to explain anything to me, particularly if you don’t want to do so.”

“No. I need to do so.”

“Okay, I’ll stay for it.”

“Thanks.” She inhaled deeply and let the breath out, then said, “I’ve discussed this ... somewhat, anyway ... previously with these girls, Meka, but I’ve been thinking and analyzing hard since ... they introduced me to... [another deep breath] girl-on-girl sex last month. With that thinking, I’ve come to the conclusion that ... I’m ... a lesbian.”

She went full scarlet but kept her head up and her eyes on Meka’s.

“You don’t have to explain yourself to me.”

“I understand,” Charlize replied, “but even though I’m directing the words at you, I’m talking to everyone. I’ve thought long and hard, pondered various heartthrob boys and men trying to determine how I react to them. With one exception, none of them do anything for me, and none get my heart racing when I try to think of them in a ... a ... sexual situation. And that is a very different reaction than I get when I think about Beth or Rhee or any other of these girls. Or you, Meka. I’ve had other girls get my heart beating a little faster, but I did figure out that every girl that did that for me was someone I already liked as something of a friend. [Another deep breath] So, I’m still a bit confused in general terms, but not at all about ... everyone in this room, even though I’ve not had sex with you, Meka.”

She looked around the table, then said, “As far as I can figure, I broke down for a couple reasons. The first was because of you, Meka. Ever since I met you, I’ve been a little crazy for you ... although different from what I’ve felt for, particularly, Beth, but also Rhee and, more recently, the rest of you. I don’t really know what love ... romantic love is, but I may feel it for ... the Go5, and that confuses me. Why is it that I can feel much the same ... giddiness and ... excitement ... caring ... and ... lust for more than one person at a time? Particularly for so many girls who are so different from each other in many respects, particularly in appearance. I decided that if I do love everyone here, it’s because I don’t have a particular body type or hair color or personality preferences ... Well, while your personalities are all different, they’re much less different from each other than are your various bodies and appearances. When I realized that, I became more comfortable with the idea that I ... was in love with so many girls. It also helped that those very girls are all in love with the same so many girls that I am.

“I assume that since I don’t know you that well, that what I feel for you, Meka, is ... lust. That is the other reason I broke down, as just the possibility of you joining ... I guess ... us ... meant that, at the very least, I would spend time with you, get to know you better. I was both excited by the prospect and ... scared of it. You’ve had so much more time with them than I have, and my first reaction was that they’d turn away from me to have you. I’ve known Beth and Rhee longer than anyone here, although I admit that I can’t know them as well as the rest of you do, but I think I know them well enough to be certain that they’d never ... play with my ... feelings for them. They wouldn’t discard me just to make room for you. However, I’ve been nervous all day, and for days this week, because I want ... or need to broach something with ... them, but also their parents, and I’m not certain how that will go. All of those feelings and thoughts combined to cause me to ... cry, because two things that are very important to me ... intersect with the Go5. If one of those things I really want doesn’t work out, that would damage the other, causing me to lose both.”

She lost control then. Rhee and Liya both turned to her and put their arms around her, and she quickly regained control, although she sniffled for a while in what she told us next.

“I finally got a chance to meet with the GV premier-team coach. I told you about him, right?”

“You said he was ... authoritarian.”

She nodded while adding, “I didn’t get even halfway through laying out the changes I thought we should make to make for a better team before he interrupted and said that what I was proposing was impossible.” She held up her hand when we reacted vocally and said, “He did. You guys and I talked about this, and nothing I told him was any different than the relatively minor changes you and I discussed. I was calm and I tried to explain one part of it again, and he just kept saying that it wouldn’t work, that it wasn’t how his teams worked. It was all I could do not to cry, so I just thanked him for his time and got the hell out of there.”

She was close to breaking down again, so Rhee turned her chair toward her, then just about pulled Charlize bodily into her lap. She clutched herself to Rhee tightly, apparently trying to maintain control.

After about a minute, she breathed deeply and moved a bit, as if she was going back to her chair.

Rhee said, “I like you right here ... if you don’t mind sitting on my lap.”

“Oh, Rhee.” She took another deep breath, then said, “I need to broach something serious with you guys and I don’t think I can manage that with your boobs pressing into me. While I’d rather have you feel me up and make love with me, I need to do this.”

Rhee put her left hand tenderly on Charlize’s right cheek, then slowly leaned into her and applied her lips to Charlize’s and kissed her for a few seconds. When Rhee pulled back, Charlize kept her eyes closed as if she were savoring the memory of the kiss, then opened them, and returned to her chair.

“I made it home without losing it, but as soon as I opened my room door, I started crying. I knew that I couldn’t play for that coach, and I didn’t see any way to be able to play again in GV.”

I interrupted with, “You could...”

She cut me off, saying, “Please, let me do this.” When I nodded at her, she continued with, “Mom found me crying, so I had to explain, which took me back to last summer when all of us discussed the GV team at the state tournament. I know you guys were right. I know I was right. But that ... bastard of a coach can’t accept that someone might know at least as much as he does on some things in soccer, to say nothing of better than he does! That got me thinking of hanging with your team and how much fun I’d had with them, how accepting of me they were, which got me crying again. She thought I’d feel better about things once I’d slept on it, but I woke up the next morning more furious than ever, although I did have more control of my emotions when Mom would bring up the subject of my soccer life.

“A couple days after Christmas, Mom and I were having an evening for, you know, mother-daughter time, and were driving around when she vocally pondered about me living in Elkton where I already had friends and knew the soccer team.” After some exclamations from us, she added, “I told Mom that I couldn’t see how she could let me live by myself in a town nearly two hours from them. She answered, and I quote, ‘Why don’t you see if you can live with Beth’s family. They might not even notice another girl living there amongst that menagerie they have.”

Although most of us said it, I might have said, “Of course, you could live here,” more loudly than the others did. “We now have a lot more space, but even that wouldn’t have been that important. We’d have gladly made room for you here. We’d love to have you here.”

Charlize replied, “Those were some of the arguments that Mom made, but I’d become so unsure of myself after that disaster with the GV coach, that I just couldn’t see it happening. You don’t think Charlie and Sandy ... and Carol would mind?”

The others let me keep going, so I responded with, “Absolutely not! We’ve been told on multiple occasions – in fact, just last weekend – that they love it when we fill their house with our ‘happy, smart, and fun friends.’ I would be shocked, truly, if they pondered any such request for more than a second. They know you. They like you. And you’re certainly one of our smart and fun friends, even if you may not currently be perfectly happy.”

Charlize was looking hard at me, when Meka said, “Charlize, Beth’s 100 percent right. They’ve offered lodging for me, for Celeste, even for Celeste’s friend on the university’s soccer team, Andressa. Charlie and Sandy have been housing Rhee off and on for years. The three of them took in Heather – permanently! They took in Gracey and Liya while their two mothers spend some months advancing their careers. What makes you think for even a second that the three of them wouldn’t take you in, particularly once they know your story. Girl, that’s a done deal. When are you moving in?”

Charlize had turned to look at Meka when she began speaking, took on a mien of surprise, then one of wonder, but at the end, she collapsed into what I presumed at the time were relieved, happy tears.

When she marshaled control ... and climbed into Rhee’s lap, she seemed happier, so I asked, “What about your parents? Won’t they go through withdrawal or, at least, miss you?”

“I asked Mom that. She said that I’d never really been happy in GV, but that I had been in Elkton. She added that they both liked GV so much, they weren’t aware how unsatisfied I was there until last summer. They like their jobs, they love GV. I told her that I knew that and that I didn’t tell them I was unhappy because I knew how happy they were there. She then said that it didn’t make much sense to figure out how we would deal with living apart unless it worked out here, first. I don’t know what they’ll do, but if your parents are as agreeable as you ... and Meka, of course ... make them out to be, then we’ll discuss it. Mom did say that it wouldn’t make much sense to change high schools in the middle of a quarter.”

She leaned back against Rhee, then turned her head to face her. Keeping her eyes on Rhee’s, she moved and rotated her body so that she was in Rhee’s lap facing her, after which she gazed into Rhee’s eyes until she began leaning forward. Her eyes closed as their lips met gently. She held the kiss, unmoving for ten seconds or so, then backed up. After that, she melted.

She sighed and collapsed against Rhee, then said, “Oh, god. I can see light where there was only ... not darkness ... but nagging unhappiness. I’d been getting a bit happier once I got reconnected with you and Beth, now with added Gracey, Liya, and Heather. Then happier with your understanding of me, my confusion about ... sex and what I wanted. If we can make this work, the only real problem I can see is that things don’t work out ... loving-wise ... between me and you guys, but I’m not going to worry about that. I’ve been worrying too much for too long. If we can make this work, I’ll be able to put a lot of my worrying aside, as I’ve been worrying a lot about soccer. Here, I can join a state-champion premier-league team that already knows me and likes me. Here, I can be on a high-school team that was probably the second-best team in the state last fall. Here, I won’t have to carry either offense on my back, because some of my best friends are some of the best soccer players in the state and I’d be on their teams. Here, I can be a larger part of teaching Civia to be the best she can be, so that I might be good friends with a professional soccer player a few years from now. Most importantly, though, is that I can finally be with the friends I’ve missed so much for so long and get to know their friends even better. Here, I get to make love with the most wonderful girls I’ve ever known. Here, I can be happy, again.”

She had some of us in tears by the end of that soliloquy.

Meka stood, saying, “With that, my job here is done.” She grinned at Charlize, then added, “I’ll be over in the morning for breakfast. Jamaal is supposed to let me know when he gets enough commitment for a game tomorrow. I’ll let you know. Since it’s full dark out there, I’ll just carry my clothes home. Mañana!”