Chapter 229

June 20, 2018 (Wednesday)

Dear Ms. Diary,

I woke to darkness. Darkness and crying. I was groggy and it took me a bit to figure out what I was supposed to do ... until memory returned. I rolled over my right shoulder and threw my left arm and leg over Meka.

“Shh. Shh. I’ve got you. I’m here.”

Her arms went around me and squeezed.

I grunted and thought, “Damn, she’s strong.”

Meka’s crying turned into soft whimpering and her arms around me relaxed slightly. I reached up trying to find her head with mine and managed to get my lips on her forehead, so softly kissed her and continued to place gentle kisses on her forehead, eyes, and cheeks and she gave out a long, whiny whimper and stopped crying.

“I’m so sorry for your loss. I would probably have liked your mom.”

With a bit of heat, she responded, “What?! Who told you? Did Dad tell you?” She growled, then whimpered and whined, “He said he wouldn’t...”

I interrupted her, “He didn’t tell. At least not that I know. Meka, you didn’t kill him, and you blame the 13-year-old girl you were.” When she stayed silent, I added, “Meka, I think you’re the most impressive woman I’ve ever met, but you can’t blame a young girl for your mom’s death. You wouldn’t blame Maren or Civ if they had the same experience, so don’t blame that girl you used to be.”

She began to gasp, so I squeezed her a bit more tightly and kissed her forehead.

“But she’d be alive if I had done what I knew I had to do. Bu-bu-bu-but I c-c-couldn’t do it!”

She devolved into loud wailing and sobbing, which woke everyone in the bed. Celeste was on the other side of Meka, and she added her body and arms to my efforts to let Meka know that we were there for her.

Civia ... Bless that girl. She must have been awake from the beginning. Civ crawled across ... I know not how many of us, across me, then stretched herself on Meka, the left side of her face on Meka’s chest, dug her arms under Meka, and pulled her body into as much contact with Meka’s as she could manage.

“I probably couldn’t do it, either, Meka. Kai couldn’t do it. I’m sure you could do it, now, but you’re not her. You’re not the 13-year-old Meka who was so scared. You thought you could do something else, something that would distract him, hurt him enough to make a difference. Meka, that’s a thing that very few girls my age could even consider, much less manage to do. You ... can’t ... blame ... her.”

Meka broke down. Someone – I would bet on Liya – turned on one of the overhead lights farthest from the middle of the room and on its lowest lumens setting. I heard some rustling behind me that I ignored, but Civ’s head was somewhat facing that direction, and she lifted her head.

“Brett! Don’t bother. Just get up here and help us hold her. Get between Beth and me.”

Brett crawled up my body and, as Civ rolled a little off Meka to Civ’s left, Brett slid his body up the left side of Meka’s and wriggled between Civ and me. Civ skootched herself a bit up Meka’s body.

I said, “Meka, we’re here for you, like you’re always here for us.”

Civ added, “Your wonderful husband is here, as well as all your current and future wives. Celeste is rubbing and kissing your head and encouraging her love and care for you to flow from her to you. Brett isn’t sure what to do, but he’s here and providing his body’s warmth, the incredible warmth that warms us all in bed and everywhere else. Beth is being very strong, but she’s concerned because she needs you. She’s the strongest person I know, but not even she can do everything. But she’s sending her powerful love through her arms to you. Meka, we love your mom, just like we love your dad ... because they’re both such huge parts of you. She will always live on so long as you live on; so long as those of us who love you live on, and there are so many of us who love you, who look to you for your strength, your knowledge, but mostly for the huge heart you have, the heart that holds part of your mom here in the compound, among your sister-friend-wives. We need to know more about your mom. Please share her with us, so that we can help you keep her here at the heart of our large and growing family.”

Civia squeaked when Meka’s arms suddenly grabbed her around the waist and pulled her farther up Meka’s body, then moved to either side of Civ’s face and pulled Civia’s mouth to hers. Although Civia was surprised, she recovered quickly and returned the kiss that Meka was giving her.

A half-hour later, the entire LA and our two visitors quietly climbed into the not-so-hot tub. The tallest half of us – 12 – sat on the eastern bench and hosted the others in our laps, with no regard to who and where, other than none of the young girls sat on Brett’s lap or one of his immediate neighbor’s laps, and with Civ being a host rather than a lap-sitter. We listened to the distant, desultory traffic; the nocturnal insects; the occasional jet overhead. We listened to the world outside the compound until...

“I remember Mom trying to get me into a ... dress. I must have been ... five, I guess. She must have had me in dresses before that, but, for the most part, I don’t remember. I fought and fought going into that dress until she gave up. She opened my closet door and slammed together all the dresses hanging there. It couldn’t have been many, probably many fewer than ten. She took them off the rod and began walking out of my room with them. One of those was a bit worn and had a ... something like a cartoon character, perhaps ... Yes. It was Winnie-the-Pooh. The bear had his honey jar. For some reason, I loved that dress, and it was probably so worn because it was the only one I wanted to wear. I suddenly realized that it was in the pile of dresses Mom was taking out of my room and I stood and ran to the door to stop her, but Mom said, ‘You don’t want to wear dresses. Remember? You just screamed that a bunch of times at me.’

“I don’t remember what my arguments were, but I argued. She countered each with the same words imitating my tantrum, ‘I don’t want to wear dresses.’”

Kim softly said, “Ah, the spark that created a debate-team captain.”

Meka and many of us chuckled, and then she said, “I began wailing and threw myself on the floor. She closed the door. I don’t know how long I lay there screaming out my tantrum. I recall only that I was just past the hiccupping stage and was winding down when Dad came in, picked me up, sat on my bed, and cradled me as I completely wound down.

“It was the next morning or ... maybe ... a day or two later, but my dresses had magically returned to my closet. I could see a sleeve of my favorite dress so I reached out to move the hung dresses in front of it and grabbed the dress immediately in front of my Pooh dress. I was surprised that the dress I grabbed was so soft. It felt like no dress or other clothing I’d ever worn, so I looked at it. It was a fawn color and it had a big, white pouf on the back that looked something like the tail of a bunny rabbit. I decided to put it on.

“I figured out years later that Mom was waiting to hear the hangers move on the rod, and I moved that dress along the rod enough for her to hear it outside my door, I had the dress off the hanger and was about to slide my arms and head into it when she opened the door and walked in. She said something like ‘No. That dress is only for little girls that want to wear dresses. That dress is not for you.’ She stopped talking for just a second or two, then added, ‘And little girls that want to wear dresses can’t wear dresses if they throw a tantrum about their dresses.’”

“Ooooh. Sizzle,” Heather said with a chuckle.

“Yes. Kim made a joke of it, but even though my dad was the engineering professor and Mom was ‘just’ [air quotes] a secretary, it was mostly Mom who taught me logic and debate.” As Meka’s eyes began leaking tears, she stated, “She would have been so proud of me for being the debate-team captain.”

As Meka began quietly sobbing, Andy said, “No, Meka. Your mom was and is very proud of you for many things, one of which was you being the debate-team captain.”

Meka turned into Celeste on her left and cried into her shoulder.

We were still in the tub when the sky began graying, so I figured it to be about 5:30, so I said something about what I had been thinking.

“What does everybody think about a big breakfast for the compound in the pavilion?”

Brit and Maren stepped on each other’s responses of, “I’m in,” and “Great!”

As we traipsed back into the J, a naked Maren caught my hand and swung it as we stepped across the yard and asked, “Wasn’t Civ amazing?”

“She was ... and is, and I’ve told you this before. You two are becoming more and more important to me and the whole LA. Virtually all the rules are in abeyance during emergencies, and you two, particularly Civ, recognized that this was an emergency. I’m proud of you two for recognizing that and being helpful, very helpful. We just can’t let you be regularly naked around Brett and vice-versa.”

“Beth, we almost don’t care about that, anymore. Yes, we’d prefer always being naked here, but the recent emergencies and your reactions to our parts have made us truly recognize that we’re fully part of the LA and that we don’t need to be naked here always to feel like we are.

“While I think I understand the ... gist of what Meka went through. Was she doing martial arts then? Is that why she believes that she failed because she could have done what Katherine did yesterday but didn’t?”

I stopped us at the steps up to the porch and answered, “That’s what I think, but none of us should ask her. If she’s willing to tell us, to tell you or me, we should pay very close attention to her words and help her get through this. It could come back to her again ... or it might not, but the dress story was the first time she’s ever told us anything about her mother, other than her having been killed years ago.”

“First?” When I nodded, she asked, “So, she’s been ... keeping that ... buried, not dealing with it?” When, again, I nodded, she whined, “Poor Meka. She’s so strong, but she’s got ... weaknesses, although I can’t imagine that I’d be doing as well as she is with her history with her parents.” She began getting burbly as she said, “I guess she really did need the LA, just like all of us, as Rache said the other day.”

“She did and she does. Maybe this will help her deal with her memories of her mother better. It would probably be a good sign if she tells us a few more stories over the next few weeks.”

On the walk home from practice, we agreed to a nap, so when we got home, we took quick showers and all climbed into bed without randomization, set two alarms, and conked out.

I jerked out of a deep sleep at the alarms but quickly recalled why we were where we were. [Wow; six “w” words in a row.]

While eating a light lunch, Civ asked, “Liya, why did Coach cancel tomorrow’s practice?”

“It is a little weird that she didn’t explain, as it’s most likely to do with her family, and she had no problem explaining similar absences last year, but we won’t ask her about that. Right, Civ?” When Civia shook her head, Liya continued, “I wouldn’t be surprised if she also considered our long week next week. We’ll probably get next Thursday off, too.”

Brit asked, “What can we do with that free time tomorrow?”

Cera asked, “Could we offer Katherine our help dealing with the Armoire?”

Maren gushed, “Oh, could we? That would be so fun!” Since she was looking at me as she said that, she saw my reaction, so held her hand up at me and added, “I understand that it’s not fun for Katherine, and we’d all be serious about it, but it would be something very different for us ... and fun.”

I replied, “That’s a great idea, Cera, and you’re right, Mare. I’ll text her and ask her to call when she gets a chance.”

Civ and Rache grabbed Liya, Gracey, and Lana to help with a subsidiary grocery trip, primarily for salad makings and fresh vegetables, after which Maren buttonholed me.

“May we talk somewhere?”

I raised my eyebrows at her, but said, “Sure. Let’s go up to the back 2^nd-floor master.”

As I closed that bedroom’s door behind us, I said, “First, Mare, I want to tell you, and I’ll tell Civ, too, that you’ve done very well during our recent emergencies. While I know you’d prefer to be naked at all times here, including in Brett’s presence, you treated the need to ignore dressing rules during those emergencies in a mature way. Neither of you stared – or even looked much – at Brett. I appreciate that.”

“As you said ... a while ago, emergency response requires ignoring the little things to deal with the big things. Civ and I have seen Brett before and, now, he’s seen both of us, although I don’t know that he looked. Beth, even though we were scared and concerned, both for Katherine yesterday and Meka today, it was ... satisfying to be able to be helpful during those crises. I feel ... much more fully a part of the LA, now, and also understand that I’ll respond appropriately in any future crises.

“But that’s not why I wanted to talk. Beth, I need the rules about young girls. I’m coming to want to dive into sex so much, but I know ... I know, Beth, that if I did so, it would be bad for me and the LA. I think I might be like Lana, and I’m pretty sure that I don’t have the strength, now, to control myself if I get any kind of ... satisfaction out of ... sex with someone other than myself even once. I need you not to relax the rules and to always enforce them ... at least in those situations other than emergencies and if we all swim together in the future like last weekend.”

I stared into Mare’s eyes for quite some time, then said, “I’m impressed, Mare. That took a lot of guts. You must have told Civ this, as she didn’t say a thing at all about you not being her assistant at the store.”

“We talked yesterday. It was ... emotional and a bit scary, but phenomenal. I love her so much and ... I ... told her that I ... wanted my first ... love-making to be with her.”

I kept my eyes on her and did not ask the many questions I wanted to ask.

Mare nodded in what I interpreted as her thanks for not asking those questions, then said, “I know you wouldn’t, but please don’t tell anyone else this. I was really scared to tell Civ that, but she took it very well, even telling me that, while she’d have to think about it, it would not be something that squicked her out. I also told her everything I’m about to tell you.”

She breathed deeply a few times, then, starting tentatively but getting stronger as she went on, stated, “If I understand Lana and her sexuality correctly, I’m probably very much like her. Beth, the minute Civ turns 14, I’ll want to make love with every LA member, with ... every resident of the compound, and, if I can figure out how to manage it, Civ’s and my parents.” I could not keep my eyebrows from vaulting up my forehead nor my eyes rounding, but she ignored that, saying, “I love Brett and I want Brett, but, if I can figure out how to make it happen without breaking up my parents’ marriage, I would prefer my first lovemaking with a guy to be with Jeff.

“Please help me get through the 16 months until Civ turns 14. I think I can get a better handle on controlling my wants during that time. Also, and please don’t divulge this, although it’s not at all critical, Lana’s been teaching Civ and me how to kiss.”

Quite a few tumblers fell into place with that knowledge, and I smiled at her.

She grinned at me in response, sobered, then stated, “I hope to use some future sessions with her and Civ to tell her about me. I’ll also ask her to help me get through this, particularly if she’s willing to explain how she managed the same task.”

I stepped into her, and we put our arms around each other as I told her, “I’m impressed again. I think you’re going about this correctly, and if you need my help, you’ll have it. Mare, I’m looking forward to making love with you.”

She tilted her head back, breathily whispered, “Oh, goddess,” then put her head on my left shoulder and squeezed me tightly.

Our grocery team returned, and many of us helped them deal with the various veggies and assorted other groceries.

Civ stated, “The guy that was monitoring the self-checkouts on Saturday was there today, and as soon as he saw us, he gave us the sign to have at his machines, then vanished. We were still checking out when he returned with a guy who turned out to be the overall manager of the location. He began talking to Liya saying that he had had a few sessions with his staff that included bits of the security footage to get them to recognize us. Liya told him that I would be our primary on grocery trips, backed up by Rache and another young girl, and she introduced me to him. She warned the guy that he should not consider my age important in how he and his staff should ... interact with me, that with my intelligence and maturity, I could easily do that young guy’s job of monitoring the checkouts, and that it would be well within my abilities.

“The manager offered to shake my hand and told me his name, Jason Yairley. Beth, it ran through my mind that I was glad you taught me about handshakes on the day we met.” She grinned at me, then continued, “When we shook hands, I thought it a bit funny that I’m slightly taller than him.” She waited out the expected chuckles, saying, “I think we’ll be fine, at least until they move personnel around and he’s no longer the location manager.”

Shortly after 4:00, the three young girls headed to the Palecek house to make dinner for their parents and spend the night there. The rest of us began preparing for Wednesday evening. We had decided, after last Wednesday, that we would like Wednesdays to return to the less-orgiastic experience of last week, that is, having an NFM and allowing things to go where they built rather than turning the knob to 11 at the start.

I pulled Mia aside for a conversation, asking, “This is one of those important points at which I need to make sure of you, again. Will you keep all our secrets?” When she insisted that she would, I added, “Divulging this secret could destroy us and put some people in jail, so I’ll ask again. Will you keep all our secrets?”

She looked into my eyes and asked, “What about my mom?”

I exhaled and sighed, then replied, “Please don’t tell her unless she asks specifically about this. If she does, please refer her to me.”

“I can do that. Beth, I really don’t want to mess anything up for you ... or the LA and will not tell anyone anything about the sex here. Not anything! And that includes the nudity.”

“Thanks, Mia. If you want to join us and not eat your dinner here by yourself, get with Liya about an outfit for tonight. Don’t ask her any questions about the coming evening, what it’s about, what might occur. Anything. And please wear whatever she suggests you wear. Since that is slightly, very slightly, related to your mom’s admonition about our telling you to have sex, I tell you that, while there might be sexual opportunities for you tonight, none of us will insist that you partake. Everything or anything you do once we leave the J is entirely up to you. I suggest you not partake in anything sexual, but that you’re welcome to watch anything that may occur. We never really know what will happen on Wednesdays, so I can’t be any more specific than that.”

We descended on the pavilion for what we expected to be another fun-filled Wednesday evening and as soon as I led us into the kitchen area, announced, “Everyone except Jim knows Mia, here. She’s here this week primarily to see if she likes our lifestyle as much as she thinks she does. She has been observing and has seen how we deal with crises and with sex. Please allow her to be here, tonight, primarily as an observer, a learner. If ... interesting things happen this evening, please don’t encourage her to partake, but allow her to if she seems sure about it.”

Mom stepped up to us, as I knew she would, with a smile, saying, “Hi, Mia. No one will pressure you into anything, and you’re welcome to observe more about how we all live here in the compound. You’ve met my spouses before, but may I please re-introduce you to someone?”

“Umm, okay.”

“Charlie, front and center.”

When Dad arrived, I was watching Mia carefully. Her eyes rounded, her eyebrows rose up her forehead, and her breathing hitched.

Mom said, “Charlie, you’ve met Mia before, but let me introduce you again. This is Mia Abernathy, Argon’s left wing and resident Ghost. Mia, this is Charlie, the love of my life, Beth’s father, and husband to Carol, Inez, Nira, and me.”

Charlie said, “Hi, Mia. It’s great to meet you again. I hope you won’t consider this untoward, but you look very nice in what the girls call skimpywear.”

“I ... I do?”

“You do. You’re long and tall with long legs, and those features accentuate the outfits with which those nefarious girls like to tease the compound’s guys.”

“Y-you ... think I ... look ... nice in this?”

“No, Mia, you look lovely in that. Please remember, if you get nervous or scared by anything you see here tonight, you’re welcome to turn around, go to a different part of the pavilion, or even leave the pavilion. No one will insist or force or encourage you to do anything. Well, we’d take it amiss if you didn’t share the meal with us.”

Mia pasted a weak smile onto her face and replied, “Thanks, uhh, Charlie. I’m not scared, but I am nervous, but I’m looking forward to dinner, as it smells wonderful.”

Sandy then called out, “Jim, front and center.”

Liya called out, “Listen up. It’s time to determine our NFM, our Naked Family Member. And, in case you parents missed it, we’ve decided that we’d like to return to the initial structure of Wednesday nights. What happens, happens, but we decided that we liked the ... uncertainty of our original evening design. With that said Andy gets to strip ... Lana!”

Lana let out a little squeal along with a squeak, and then she did something of a little victory dance. There was much chuckling. We watched as Andy slowly and sexily stripped Lana, running her hands all over her. Once Lana’s lovely body was entirely visible to all, most of us adjourned to various dinner-prep and dining tasks, although I did see Brett and Jim put their heads together, no doubt to plan how they would excite Lana tonight. Dinner tonight was baked catfish, baked potatoes, and diverse salad, with only the salad needing construction when we arrived.

I quietly pulled Mia aside and asked, “Initial thoughts?”

She glanced to either side of us, then whispered, “Your dad is ... freaking hot! And ... and Meka’s dad’s pretty hot, too.”

“Aren’t they? What do you think about their outfits?”

“Your ... Charlie’s almost naked and I can see ... umm ... Jim’s ... penis through his ... I guess you call it a panty. Umm, I assume it’s ... okay with you that ... I’m ... ex-excited.”

“Is your excitement for only one of them or both?”

Her face went pink, but she answered, “B-both.”

“I guess you’re not a pure lesbian. Right?”

“I guess not.” She breathed deeply once, then whispered, “Thanks, Beth. Just that makes being here worthwhile. I don’t know why I think it’s better to be ... b-bisexual compared to ... homosexual, but that does make me feel ... relieved. But why should that be? I’m certainly still very much interested in girls, but that’s okay in my mind so long as I’m also interested in boys. How does that make sense?”

“That’s something you’ll have to figure out for yourself, as it’s probably dependent upon the specifics of how you’ve looked at sexuality.”

She was going to respond, but I held my hand up, and then said, “That was something of a rhetorical statement, but you will have to think about that. In the meantime, you should offer your help to someone in the prep area.”

She gravitated to Lana and offered to help her with the salad.

During dinner, Carol asked, “Lana, how do you feel being our NFM?”

“It’s a bit weird, as I’m not quite the exhibitionist that Heather is, but it’s also lotsa wonderful.”

Dinner conversation was interesting, as usual, after which we cleaned up, and then filtered into the lounge area. Jim, wearing his typical partly see-through, white brief, and Brett wearing his yellow Katherine panty, coordinated to clear the low mattress of sitters, lift Lana onto it, and have her lie on her belly. They spent the next ten minutes kissing all over her body from head to toe, with the two starting at opposite ends, passing by each other on her ass, then continuing on their individual routes. Because this looked like it might be highly sexual, I moved to squish in next to Mia on the couch, between her and Inez, who scooted just a bit to her right to make more space for me. I gave her a smile in thanks.

Lana moaned ... a lot, squeaked, and sighed, “Oh, goddess” more than once.

When Brett got to her crown and Jim her left foot, they coordinated to roll her over toward Jim. Both guys’ cocks were fully erect, with Jim’s head just barely peeking from the waistband. Nothing else was going on, atypically; everyone was watching the show. On the front of her body, Jim started at her right foot and Brett on her crown. When Brett got to her left breast, he took her nipple into his mouth, which action caused Lana to squeak-moan, and then pant a bit. Shortly thereafter, Jim arrived near Lana’s pussy and he placed a gentle kiss on the inside front of her thigh with his right cheek rubbing on her pussy. She moaned and began panting more heavily.

Brett was running a bit behind Jim, as he had gotten a bit sidetracked by her left breast, so he was just arriving near Lana’s pussy when Jim reached her mouth. Lana moved her right arm and managed to get hold of the waist of Jim’s panty and began pulling down on it. He got the message and pushed the panty down his legs and off.

I put my mouth at Mia’s right ear and asked, “What do you think?”

She moved her face along the right side of mine and whispered, “Fucking crazy,” into my right ear.

“I suspect it’s going to get much crazier.”

She backed her head away to stare into my eyes, her eyes wide in question. I nodded and watched her eyebrows rise even higher onto her forehead.

After Jim was naked, Lana pulled him in more tightly to her face with her hand and kissed him aggressively. Brett started kissing all around her pussy, and she reacted to that by spreading her legs to allow him better access and reaching her left hand down, placing it on the back of Brett’s head, and pushing him more firmly into her crotch. He required no other clue and began kissing and licking her lips, at which she moaned into Jim’s mouth, as they entered the second minute of that kiss.

It was then that I noticed Sandy and Carol with phones out, videoing. Lana was emitting a lot of various moans, groans, and sighs, with Jim’s face still plastered to hers and with Brett’s lips and tongue wandering around her pussy. None of their audience turned from what looked like it may be the sexiest session of any Wednesday. Yes. There had previously been intercourse on Wednesdays, but this seemed ... more intense, particularly as the entire family surrounded the sex participants.

Rather than continue kissing Lana to the crown of her head, Jim laid out next to her, his torso partly on hers, and deepened the kiss.

I thought, “Well, this should test Brett’s comfort with his lovers with our other guys.”

Brett had been focusing his attention on his hand on her pussy, but, with Jim’s movement, he looked up at them still locked in a passionate kiss. I don’t know if it was just chance, but he looked up at me with shining eyes and a slight smile. I did not know how to interpret that, so continued to watch, although I had also noticed that both videographers were still going.

After another minute of heavy kissing, Lana pulled back and said, “In me, Jim. Please, in me. Love me.”

Jim looked into her eyes for a few seconds, then looked down Lana’s body at Brett. When Brett nodded once, then got out of the way, Jim moved to fully cover Lana, reached down with his right hand to swish his cock in her juices, then slowly began pushing in. I heard Meka inhale sharply as she watched from the other side of the mattress as her dad fed his cock into Lana’s pussy. Mia reacted, too, leaning her torso against mine, so I put my left arm around her and pulled her tightly into me.

Once Jim was fully inside Lana, he moved his hips from side to side, put his lips back on hers, and kissed her hard as he gently lifted his pelvis a bit, then slowly pushed back. I was not quite gobsmacked when Brett went to his knees near her left shoulder, reached his right hand between them, and began manipulating her left nipple.

Perhaps a bit less than two minutes into Jim slowly thrusting into her, Lana moaned loudly into Jim’s mouth, continued their kiss for another half-minute, then pulled back and said, “Roll us over, please.”