Paige Hawthorne: Blog

My current policy is to delete all my stories that score under 8. So, for my three remaining readers … well, you degenerates might want to consider the Download function for ‘Portraits’ — my newest story.

I don’t know why I keep returning to that little Cajun town of Sausalito, Mississippi. Perhaps it’s rooted in the way William Faulkner wrote so lovingly about his own fictional slice of Mississippi — Yoknapatawpha County. Of course, while Billy was a decent enough scrivener, he obviously didn’t have the kind of talent that I do.

In ‘Portraits’, Darlene Pellerin — running both Miss Kitty’s strip club and the restaurant, Contrary Mary’s — is evolving her pussy-management strategy.

These days, Darlene was finding it more interesting to sway the local women with kindness, understanding, and sweetness. However, her goal remained the same. To encourage wives and mothers to perform — and someday come to enjoy — outrageous, sometimes illegal, occasionally incestuous, sex acts that once would have seemed unimaginable to them.

Paige

“Leave the gun, take the cannoli.”

“Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer.”

“I’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse.”

“Frankly, my dear, I don’t give a damn.”

“Hasta la vista, baby.”

“Love means never having to say you’re sorry.”

“I’ll have what she’s having.”

“You talkin’ to me?”

“Life is like a box of chocolates.”

“You can’t handle the truth.”

“You’re gonna need a bigger boat.”

Hmm... I wonder if any SOL author has penned a line as memorable as these?

Paige

Keep sucking. Even though I deleted my “Real Housewives” stories because of tepid reader appreciation, I find myself returning to that poor, benighted town — Sausalito, Mississippi — once again.

“Portraits” chronicles the lives of six residents as they … well, you’ll see.

Unfortunately, the fate of “Portraits” now resides in the talons of a dubious group of editors. So, no telling when or if, it will see the light at SOL. And, no telling what tattered shreds will remain of my original efforts.

Happy sucking,

Paige

Ford Madox Ford is credited with this diverting way to determine if he were interested in investing his time in an unread book. He simply turned to page 99 and read it.

By that point, he was past the often over-polished opening, and far enough into the book that the writer should have hit her stride.

What interested me was whether this method could reasonably be applied to the SOL stories most of us check out in a more conventional manner:

Note who the author is. Read the Description. Consider the sexual, or not, components. Determine whether the story is finished.

Then, when the evaluation meets enough of our criteria, most of us click on Chapter 1 and begin slogging through. Or not.

I’m going to experiment by diving into a later Chapter just to see what my level of interest is. (Since I read only my own stories here, I expect to be more than satisfied.)

You’re welcome,

Paige

Adam Gopnik recently wrote in the ‘New Yorker’ about the Hollywood boy genius, Irving Thalberg. Mr. Gopnik mentioned that many writers, such as F. Scott Fitzgerald, believed that there were secrets of storytelling.

Yet most films have a simple story line — “Raise the stakes, place insurmountable obstacles before the protagonist, have the protagonist somehow surmount them while becoming braver and better. What works for Dorothy works for Rocky.”

Bringing it home, one of my editors shared the sad fact that in my sex-forward stories (‘Housewives’), there were no real obstacles to prevent frequent bed-hopping.

True.

However, I’ve come to understand that my three remaining readers want to cut to the chase even faster than I’ve been doing.

A conundrum … try to write better, more believable stories? Or give in to the craven … well, you know.

Paige