Chapter 17: Strengths and Weaknesses

August 21, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"When's your last day?" Grace asked on Tuesday morning.

"Tomorrow. I need to participate in checking in Freshmen starting Thursday. Are you working Thursday and Friday?"

"Thursday, because it's check-in. Friday, I'll be at orientation. Do you think we could keep our chess dates?"

"Evenings are out because of studying, but Tuesday and Thursday afternoons are completely free, except for my guitar lesson on Thursday right after lunch."

"What about Tuesday afternoons?"

"That sounds good."

"I will beat you, eventually!"

I chuckled, "You've been saying that all Summer! But you are getting better."

"The problem is, you started off so much better and once you stopped being rusty, that made it even MORE difficult!"

"True, but we've had some draws, and I'd say that's a good sign."

"You'd think persistence would be worth some kind of reward!"

"If I hadn't made a promise to someone, I'd be more than happy to offer that. Now, I need to open the doors for business!"

"And I need to get to work!" Grace replied.

The morning was relatively busy because of deliveries, but there were some lulls during the afternoon. When work finished, I went back to campus to get my car, then drove to Grace's house for dinner and chess. She was, indeed, getting better, and I had to really focus and concentrate, but I won my game as white and drew both games as black.

"I never asked," she said as we picked up the pieces after the third game, "but how strictly are the rules enforced in the dorms?"

"The rules against drugs are extremely strict. Even the report of the smell of pot will have your room searched. For booze, generally, if you keep it in your room and have the door shut, nobody will bother you. You do run the risk of someone reporting you, though. Mostly, I haven't seen that happen, and the female RA we'll have on Rickenbacker 8 is pretty cool. Fundamentally, keep it out of sight, and you won't have a problem."

"And the rules for co-ed floors?"

"Rickenbacker 8 is certain to vote for no curfew; I can't say for sure for other floors or other dorms. Mostly Rickenbacker 8 is self-selected nerds who know how to have fun while being serious students. Occasionally, we get some idiots like the Freshmen last year who decided doing whippets during sex was a great idea, at least until the girl passed out."

"What happened?"

"They were kicked out of the dorms. Nitrous oxide isn't illegal in those whipped cream canister refills, but it is against the rules. With pot, if it's just a couple of joints, the cops will write you a citation because Ohio decriminalized marijuana, but the school will kick you out of the dorms."

"And sex?"

I chuckled, "We're in college; what do YOU think?"

She laughed, "Impossible to stop."

"Exactly. You can have overnight guests, but if they aren't students, they can't stay more than two consecutive nights or more than three during a seven-day period. And even then, if it becomes TOO persistent, they could, in theory, charge you extra. I've never seen that, but the rules have only been in place for a short time. If it's two students? Well, Fran and Jason have basically lived together for two years, minus a short period when a student on 7 decided to invite a fourteen-year-old girl to his room for sex."

"What happened?"

"Expelled; but because he was eighteen, the State let him plead to 'contributing to the delinquency of a minor'. Not ideal for him, but better than a statutory rape conviction."

"As if the government should have ANY say about who I fuck or when I fuck."

"I had this discussion recently, and while I agree in principle, there are some limits. I don't know the exact right age, but fourteen is probably below it, especially when the guy is eighteen or nineteen."

"I can see your point, I guess. I just don't like the idea that some old fart in Columbus or Washington, DC, can tell me what I can do with my own body."

"And even there, I think there have to be some limits. I think there's a world of difference between, say, motorcycle helmet laws and laws against selling or using cocaine, even though both are pretty dumb and put your life at serious risk!"

"True. I guess I'll see you tomorrow at work, then at school."

"It'll be hard to miss me," I chuckled.

We hugged, I left her house, and headed back to campus.

August 23, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"What's bugging you, Mike?" Clarissa asked when we returned to my room on Thursday afternoon after helping check in new Freshmen.

"I was just thinking about how to address a concern with Elizaveta tonight."

"What's that?"

"Elizaveta's innate conservatism makes me question if she's really mature enough to make the decision she might need to make in a few months."

"Isn't that kind of the opposite issue from Lara — her natural liberalism calls into question whether she can actually accept the restrictions she'll have to live under as a deacon's wife."

I nodded, "I think I can sum this up succinctly — Elizaveta will make a perfect wife for a deacon; Lara will make a perfect wife for a doctor."

"And Angie would have managed both," Clarissa added.

"Now you see why, despite the impossibility of that situation, I keep thinking of her."

"Not to mention you fell in love with her and are still in love with her."

"Which, sadly, doesn't much matter at this point. I can tell, from my weekly talks with her, that she's basically back to where she was just prior to her first public meltdown. That's not a good place, in the sense of having a relationship, but THAT particular persona was earning good grades, had friends, and more or less functioned quite well."

"You're blaming yourself, aren't you?"

I shook my head, "No, just recognizing that I'm her trigger. But the problem is, I'm also her support. It's a bizarre situation, and I think Doctor Mercer is a bit more concerned about how Angie will react to me getting engaged than she's letting on. I know she's trying to build a good support system for Angie, but I feel like I'll be pulling the rug out from under her. I'm not really sure what to do, and I'm not sure Doctor Mercer knows, either."

"Because the very thing that's helping Angie recover is the very thing that's going to cause her next meltdown."

"Pretty much. And think about Tasha's concerns about what my life will be like for the next six years or so. Could I, if by some miracle Angie got to a point where she could have a relationship, give her enough attention? I doubt it, and that would be a nightmare of epic proportions. But we're off on a rabbit trail now."

"Are we? I think, in a sense, Angie is the model for your wife. She should have been. And yes, I know the whole argument that without her condition, she'd be a very different person, but we could say that about everyone, including me. I suppose the question you have to ask yourself is which one will be more successful in adapting to her own 'weakness', if you will?"

"It's a bit deeper than that," I replied. "Lara is basically a mature adult at seventeen. Elizaveta, except when she first approached me, seems like a kid."

"All your interactions are completely supervised, right?"

"The KGB has nothing on her mom and grandmother," I chuckled. "They're just barely out of earshot, but it wouldn't surprise me if the bench in the backyard was bugged!"

Clarissa laughed, "Nice, but you don't really believe that, do you?"

"No. The parallel I want to draw is to Tasha. How she behaved under direct supervision versus how she behaved when we were alone, even if it was just in my car on the way to the diner or taking a walk afterwards. I think the problem is 'courting', really. I need to get Elizaveta out of that environment into one where she can show her true personality. I saw a glimpse of it at church that day."

"How do you propose to do that?"

"I'll try the same thing with her father that I did with Deacon Vasily — ask to take Elizaveta out for ice cream."

"And if he says 'no'?"

"Then I don't think my relationship with her is going anywhere," I replied.

"And Lara? The opposite concern?"

"That one has been bugging me since the Fourth of July. Lara is not prim, proper, or demure."

"But she's your intellectual equal."

I chuckled, "She claims to be smarter than I am, which, I'll concede, is possible."

"Don't let that single point on the MCAT go to your head, Petrovich!"

"I won't! Anyway, the point is, how necessary is that? In other words, I'll get all kinds of intellectual stimulation outside the house."

"And sexual stimulation inside it?" Clarissa teased.

"You jest, but the question is, what exactly do I need at home?"

"An interesting point," Clarissa replied. "Until just this second, I would have said Lara, but now that I think about it, the LAST thing you're going to want in your 'downtime' is a conversation about medicine or about the chemical weapons ban that Reagan proposed earlier in the year."

"You know I avoid political discussions like the plague, and I basically tune out when those take over at meals. And you just identified another thing. When Lara comes home from a day of teaching High Schoolers, if she's looking for intellectual stimulation rather than the other kind, will I be in any state to provide it?"

"Interesting. You just identified potential long-term problems with each girl. And not to beat a dead horse, those are ones you wouldn't have with an Angie who could have a physically intimate relationship."

"Tell me something I haven't known for YEARS, Lissa," I said with a deep sigh. "You remember what I told her?"

"The whole chastity until marriage thing. You were willing to do that for her way back during Freshman year."

"And this conversation has made me realize something else about you and me."

"What's that?"

"Could YOU live under the scrutiny that falls on a deacon's wife? And be happy?"

"That's a hell of a question, and one I have to say I'm happy to not have to struggle with. You seem to be OK with it."

"It's the environment in which I grew up."

"As has Elizaveta."

"Yes, of course. Both girls have strengths and weaknesses, just as I do. And now I need to get to dinner and ask my question of Mr. Kozlov."

"Good luck!"

Clarissa and I hugged and left my room. She headed down the hall to see Jocelyn while I left the dorm to head to the Kozlovs' for dinner. As always, the food was excellent, and as always, I joined Mr. Kozlov in his study for a splash of brandy.

"I'd like to take Elizaveta for ice cream after church on Sunday," I said. "We'd go straight to Verner's, and I'd bring her straight home from there. No more than an hour."

Mr. Kozlov nodded, "I think that would be acceptable. This Sunday?"

"Yes. Now that you've given your blessing, I'll ask her when she finishes in the kitchen."

"Good. School starts on Monday, right?"

"Yes," I replied.

"When are you able to play golf?"

"It would have to be either Tuesdays or Thursdays in the afternoon. And I guess we only have a few more months of nice weather."

"Mid-October is when it starts to be too cold and windy, though there are sometimes nice days. I can arrange my schedule to have Thursday afternoon free. Would you be able to be at the club at 2:30pm? We could play a round and then have dinner."

"So long as I'm back on campus by 7:00pm for my study group, that would work."

"The course isn't too busy on Thursday afternoons, so we should be able to make that work. Worst case, we'll just play nine holes. I'll make sure everything is arranged. Did you get your shoes on Monday?"

"Yes. Thank you for the gift."

"You're welcome. If we play golf on Thursday and have dinner at the club, we'll need to change the day for dinner here. Your schedule seems very full, so what would you say to a meal on Saturday at noon?"

"That would probably work."

"Good."

Elizaveta came to the door, and we went out to our usual spot in the backyard.

"On Sunday, I'd like to take you to Verner's for ice cream."

"Did you ask my dad?"

"Yes, of course!"

"Then yes, I'd like that!"

"Good. We'll leave right from church, and I promised your dad to bring you right home."

"OK."

"You know, I never asked you, but are you a good student?"

"Nearly all A's. I have trouble with Spanish, but otherwise, I'm a very good student."

"And your favorite subjects?"

"History and science. I really liked biology. But that's the last science class for non-college-bound students."

"You've never thought about going to college?"

"Not really, but I'll only be a Sophomore when we start school next week. I've wanted to be a wife and mom since I was little."

"Because your grandmother and your mom told you that?"

Elizaveta laughed, "No. It is what my mom did because my dad made enough money to support them, but my grandmother worked once the kids were in school. She had training as what we now call a dental hygienist before she met my grandfather, so that's what she did."

"And on your dad's side?" I asked.

"My grandfather ran a dress-making shop, and my grandmother worked with him. Did you think someone told me I had to be a wife and mom?"

"I did wonder, given the way your dad has handled things."

"Didn't he tell you he spoils me and gives me what I want?"

I chuckled, "He did, but also said he was in potential trouble because he couldn't give me to you!"

"I went to him, Mishka; he didn't tell me to do this. He'd let me do whatever I wanted with my life. This is what I want."

"You're sure?"

"Positive. I love kids, and I've babysat for most of the younger kids at church. I enjoy doing things around the house. Nobody makes me do them. I like to cook, bake, and sew. Those things are fun! I like to go to church, and I follow the teachings as faithfully as possible because I believe and because I want to."

"What's your favorite part of history?"

"Russian history, but we don't study it very much in school. Otherwise, I like American history, especially the time around the American Revolution. Sometimes I think it would be cool to live in the days of Washington."

"Medicine involved leeches and bleeding 'bad humors' from people!" I chuckled.

"And no electricity, which I think is a bigger problem! But if you could live in the past, when would you want to live?"

"Probably around the 4th century in Constantinople," I replied. "Or maybe in Saint Petersburg during the 18th or 19th century."

"Perhaps someone will invent a time machine, like in the story by H. G. Wells!"

"But he went forward in time," I said. "I'd rather go backwards!"

Elizaveta laughed, "So you ARE a true Orthodox Russian! Going back to the glory days of Russia or Constantinople!"

"I suppose so. What else interests you?"

"Besides you?"

"I think we can take that one for a given," I chuckled.

"You're very sure of yourself!"

"YOU are the one who came after me, «Котёнок» (katyonak)!" ("Kitten")

Elizaveta laughed, "I did. I like murder mysteries, too. I've read most of Agatha Christie's books."

"Should I be worried?"

"You!" she exclaimed. "That will cost you TWO kisses, so now it's six!"

August 24, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"What are you doing today?" Lara asked as we headed to breakfast with Jocelyn, Dona, and Clarissa.

"José and I are going to do a run-through at Doctor Blahnik's house with Milena at 2:00pm. Other than that, no specific plans."

"How long will that take?"

"About ninety minutes," I replied. "And we don't mind an audience."

"Any change at home?"

"No. I figure I'll call home in a couple of weeks. When you asked before about plans, was there anything specific you wanted to do?"

"Not really. When does the rest of the gang arrive?"

"Tomorrow, except José, who should be here before lunch today. I'm not sure if Rebekah is coming with him today or not, but I'd expect her to."

We had breakfast, then went back to my room to hang out until lunch, and after lunch, we went to Doctor Blahnik's house. Milena arrived about 1:45pm, and José arrived just before 2:00pm.

"No Rebekah?" I asked.

"She's not coming back to Taft."

"What?!" Clarissa and I both asked in surprise.

"She got a crazy job offer in Florida and decided to take it. She's going to take a year off, then go to Florida Atlantic University."

"What kind of job offer?" I asked.

"Basically house-sitting, but it's a real job. Some friend of her dad's from Chicago has a mansion there and needed someone to live there and manage the property."

"She's nineteen!" Clarissa protested.

José laughed, "That appears to be a major qualification if you get my drift."

"Who is this guy?" I asked.

"He runs some kind of big investment firm in Chicago. He just bought the place in Boca Raton and asked Rebekah to manage it for him."

"Crazy."

"Crazy is how much she's being paid. Full room and board, and $600 per week."

"I've never made more than $200 a week, and that was with overtime!" I protested.

"It's a different world. This guy has a house in Saint Martin, which I think Rebekah mentioned to you guys. I was down there with her and some friends over the Summer."

"Unreal," I said, shaking my head. "Well, let's practice."

We went to the music room, where Milena was already warming up. José and I took our guitars from our cases and quickly reviewed the three sets we'd do for the concert.

"Ready to go?" Milena asked.

"Absolutely!" I replied.

"Yep!" José agreed.

Our run-through went well despite not having played together all Summer. Our repertoire hadn't changed too much — we added a few new songs and dropped a few, which each of us had practiced individually over the Summer.

"Who are you singing to?" Milena asked.

"Me!" Lara declared.

"You're not a Freshman!" Milena teased. "He has to sing to a Freshman!"

"I have an idea," I said. "What if José sings to Dona?"

"Who?" José asked.

"A very sexy Freshman who was here for Summer session and who is available. She's really nice and a lot of fun. She was Jocelyn's roommate over the Summer, and Clarissa got her moved from 6 to 8."

"I'm game," he grinned.

"There you go," I said. "Problem solved!"

"And the baton is passed to someone new!" Milena declared.