Chapter 20: A Pair Of Blessings

September 3, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"I understand," Lara soothed. "I really do. You can't risk your ordination nor your relationship with Elizaveta. Father Nicholas would know, and neither of us could answer the questions he would have to ask in a way that would satisfy him."

"I'm sorry."

Lara smiled, "Probably not quite as sorry as I am! I should have played the cards somewhat differently; that said, everything we did made perfect sense at the time. May I give you your first wedding present?"

I leered and smirked, causing Lara to laugh.

"I didn't mean THAT kind of present, though, if you'll accept it..."

"Unfortunately, I can't accept that!"

"Then, instead, four nights in Paris at Hôtel Le Bristol. It's a five-star hotel on Rue du Faubourg Saint-Honoré, close to Avenue des Champs-Élysées."

"A five-star hotel has to cost a small fortune!"

"In case you hadn't noticed, I have more than sufficient resources."

"I'd feel bad because of Clarissa, Abby, Sandy, and Pete."

"Not to be a bitch, but so what? I'm giving you and Elizaveta a gift! Not to mention, I can't imagine any of them objecting, given that the trip is effectively going to be your honeymoon."

"I apologize for even voicing that concern."

Lara shook her head, "It's you. Your first thought, after objecting to how much I was going to spend, was your friends. If that's not a typical Mike Loucks response, I'm not sure what one would be. I just need to know when you'll be in Paris."

"Right now, our plan is Amsterdam, Brussels, and then Paris. We'll map it out fully soon."

"We never really talked in detail about it. Where else did you plan to go?"

"Madrid, Rome, Geneva, Vienna, Munich, West Berlin, Copenhagen, London, and then back to Amsterdam. With travel, we figure we'll have two or three days per city. We thought about Athens, but that's too far, at something like twenty hours each way from Rome. We might cut out West Berlin, too, depending on what we want to see in the other cities. The other city we could drop is Brussels."

"If you want my advice, drop Brussels and West Berlin and go to Athens."

"Why do you say that?"

"West Berlin isn't really worth the hassle of going through East Germany, and given how relations are at the moment, nobody can predict what might happen. As for Brussels, I'd say Athens is far more interesting, and it lets you visit an Orthodox country. If you wanted to do a bit of sightseeing in Brussels, you could always leave Amsterdam very early in the morning, spend eight hours in Brussels, and then continue on to Paris, which I think is a MUCH better place to hang out. Of the cities you listed, Paris, Amsterdam, and Rome are the most interesting and fun."

"I take it you've been to all of them?"

"Yes. I can give you some ideas of what to see that might not be in your guidebook."

"Thanks. I'm glad this is amicable."

"Why wouldn't it be? If you'll pardon the crassness of this statement, we were negotiating a deal, and it didn't work out. We'll still be friends, hang out together, and go to church together. Remember what I said back in the Spring?"

"I remember."

"So, what's the next step? Elizaveta's dad?"

"No. I need to talk to Doctor Mercer about how to handle things with Angie — should I tell her before or after? Then I need to talk to Father Nicholas and Vladyka ARKADY. Once I have their blessings, I'll talk to Viktor Nikolay'ich. If he's amenable, which I'm sure he will be, I'll pick out a pair of wedding bands and the «выкуп невесты» (vykup nevesty), then ask Elizaveta."

Lara laughed, "You would, wouldn't you? But the 'bride price' is the tradition. Any idea what you're going to get her?"

"Probably a necklace of some kind, or possibly a bracelet."

"I'll help you pick something appropriate and in your price range."

"Thanks. I'm not exactly up on fashion and jewelry."

"I'm no expert, but I am a girl!"

I chuckled, "I had noticed!"

"I was pretty sure it was obvious even to you! I assume you're doing the traditional two rings and no diamond?"

"Correct. And happily so."

"You think De Beers has enough money?" she asked.

"More than," I chuckled. "I've seen their advertising. From what I understand, before the 1930s, almost nobody except the very wealthy gave diamond engagement rings in the West, and it never happened in Russia, except perhaps after the aristocracy developed their terrible affectation for everything French."

"When do you plan to tell everyone?"

"Clarissa knows, obviously; for the rest, once I talk to Elizaveta's dad. Nothing will change that anyone would notice before that."

"Rings on the right hand?" she asked.

"Only the first-generation Russian immigrants still wear them on their right hands," I replied. "We'll put them on the right hand for the betrothal, as is traditional, but then move them to the left when the ceremony is complete."

"Shall we go find the gang?" Lara asked.

"After a hug," I replied.

I held out my arms, and she melted into them. We held each other for about five minutes before exchanging a chaste kiss. We broke the hug and left my room in search of our friends.

September 4, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

On Tuesday morning, after I ran but before breakfast, I called Doctor Mercer's office and caught her before her first patient. I explained the situation, and she was quiet for a minute.

"That's a very good question. I'm not quite sure how she's going to react, but you're right that you need to tell her as soon as possible. I think, given where you are and where she is, telling her before you ask is probably the best."

"What's your best assessment of how she'll respond?" I asked.

"I honestly don't know," Doctor Mercer replied. "At times, she seems to accept the inevitability of you marrying; at other times, she seems to hold out hope that you won't."

"And this could cause, well, a relapse, I guess is the word?"

"Mike, anything could. You not calling her; you calling her; you being aloof; you being friendly; you getting engaged; you going to a monastery."

I laughed, "Not a chance of that last one!"

"So I gathered, but the point remains — nobody knows for sure what will set her off. What I do know is that you being her friend and caring about her has helped keep her stable. And if we assume she's back to the relatively stable version of herself that followed the French kiss, the fact you were dating and engaging in intercourse with her approval tells me she'll handle this OK."

"That's somewhat different from getting engaged."

"Yes, of course, but what I'm saying is that while the Angie who has emerged isn't able to have that kind of relationship with anyone, she was able to handle you having a serious relationship with another girl. I can't say for sure, but I do think she'll handle it OK. As I've said, everything is a risk, and I think, in this case, the bigger risk is keeping it from her."

"I don't think I can do this over the phone, especially given I can't be sure she has the proper support there with her if things go haywire."

"I think you're right. When do you have time to visit?"

"I'm going to be in Cincinnati for an interview at UC on Thursday the 20th, so maybe that will work."

The timing meant I would have the opportunity to discuss things with Father Nicholas and probably the bishop before I saw Angie, so everything would be ready for me to tell her, and then I could speak to Elizaveta's dad.

"You still plan to go to McKinley Medical School, right?" Doctor Mercer asked.

"Yes, but we're interviewing at five schools to make sure we have a contingency plan in the case of a nasty, unexpected result with McKinley. We'll go wherever all three of us get in, with McKinley as our first choice."

"Ah, yes, I remember. And I think it's good that you have a reason to be in Cincinnati. That way, you can tell her you intend to get engaged, and it doesn't seem as if you made a trip specifically to do that. How are things otherwise?"

"School is fine, but things at home aren't so good. My parents are basically not talking to Liz or me at this point. I've reached out to my mom, but it hasn't helped. I guess we'll see what happens at Thanksgiving."

"How are you dealing with that?"

"OK, I guess. I knew this was going to happen; I just didn't expect it to take this long for my mom to be willing to discuss it with me."

"If you need to talk, please call or come see me. Otherwise, I'll speak to you just before your visit."

"Thanks, Doctor Mercer."

"You're welcome."

We said 'goodbye' and hung up, and I left the room to join Clarissa, Jocelyn, Sandy, Pete, Lara, Sarah, and Dona for breakfast. After breakfast, Clarissa, Sandy, and I hung out while the others went to class. Just before 10:00am, we left for our Analytical Chemistry lab. Having Clarissa and Sandy as my lab partners made things so much easier, and the same was true of our Senior project, which we were doing with Fran.

After the lab, we had lunch with some of the gang, then went back to the dorm to work on our lab report, which we completed just before dinner. All four of us did take a break mid-afternoon to schedule interviews at OSU and Indiana. For dinner, we joined the extended gang in the cafeteria to eat, and afterwards, we headed back to the dorm. I had very little homework because we'd completed our lab report earlier, so I was back in my room by 8:30pm with Clarissa. The phone rang just before 9:00pm.

"Hi, Mikey!"

"Hi, Liz! What's up?"

"We found out that the courthouse only does weddings on Tuesday afternoons at 2:00pm. Can you be at the Harding County Courthouse on December 11?"

"Yes. My lab ends at 11:30am, so I can leave then and easily be in Rutherford by 2:00pm. Do you want me to bring Jocelyn and Clarissa?"

"Yes, please!" Liz exclaimed. "Have you talked to Mom?"

"No," I replied, "but now I have a reason to call her, and maybe it'll help. But I think I'll wait a bit before I do that, if it's OK with you."

"Sure."

"Have you moved in with Paul yet?"

"No. I'll move at the end of this month. How are things with you?"

"Good. Clarissa, Sandy, and I have four interviews scheduled. We're just waiting to hear from Pittsburgh."

"Decide which girl?"

"Promise to reveal nothing to anyone? I mean, not even to Paul or Emmy?"

"Of course!"

"Is anyone anywhere they can hear you?"

"Emmy's working, and Leslie is out."

"Elizaveta."

"No way!" Liz exclaimed. "I was so sure it would be Lara!"

"Think about what a deacon's wife has to be like."

"Shit. That sucks, Mikey. Lara is awesome!"

"She and I came to the decision together, Lizzy. I'm getting more of a picture of her lifestyle, and I don't think she'd be happy. Neither does she."

"Have you heard anything from Maggie?"

"Not since Hannah and Violet tried to get her to talk to me. At this point, it's a complete non-starter. If you think about it, cutting off all contact isn't exactly a mature response to a relationship issue."

"Mom and Dad?"

"And Clarissa's parents. And the way Jocelyn's parents dealt with our relationship; well, her mom, anyway."

"Why are parents so fucked up?"

"I think, maybe, it has to do with the difficulty of seeing your kids as adults who make their own decisions, especially when you disagree with some of those decisions. If you think about it, the only real conflict I've had with Mom is when she hasn't agreed with my choices. The thing with that quack Orosco was her manipulating Mom, not a real conflict."

"But she turned Mom against you so easily!"

"She's a trained psychiatrist," I said. "Don't you think she'd understand exactly how to manipulate people?"

"Shit! You're right."

"And if you think about Jocelyn and Clarissa, it's the same thing, though Clarissa didn't really make a choice about being a lesbian. Her dad thinks she did, and that, plus his obvious prejudice, caused his reaction. You know Dad basically freaked out about Clarissa, too."

"But why can't they see us as adults?"

"After eighteen years of seeing us as kids? Think about that."

"I guess."

"Here's the strange one, though. Lara's stepdad basically treated her like an adult from the time she was little, but even HE showed his annoyance with what he thought was a bad decision."

"You?"

"Yes, but that wasn't really a factor. Her biological dad is awesome, by the way, even if he treated her more like a kid. Give me a few weeks to sort things out, then I'll talk to Mom and see what I can do. In the meantime, just do your thing and start school next Monday. Let me know how much you need for tuition and books. I'll cover it."

"Are you SURE, Mikey?"

"Positive."

We said 'goodbye', and I hung up, then went to sit next to Clarissa.

"Parents are fun, aren't they?" she asked sarcastically.

"Tell me about it," I said with an exasperated sigh. "She's getting married on Tuesday, December 11th. She wants me to bring you and Jocelyn, and it fits our class schedule."

"Cool. I heard you say you were going to wait to talk to your mom."

"I figure I'll tell her about my betrothal and Liz's wedding date at the same time. Also, before the rest of the gang comes in, I wanted to tell you about what Doctor Mercer said this morning. When we go for our interviews at UC, I'll stop in and see Angie and break the news to her before I talk to Elizaveta's dad. Doctor Mercer thinks telling Angie when I'm there for another purpose that I plan to ask Elizaveta to marry me will be the least traumatic. I think she's right."

"You have to do that alone, Mike. Sandy and I can hang out at the Wendy's or whatever while you talk to her."

"Angie's mom needs to be around just in case Angie has a bad reaction. And Doctor Mercer will make herself available immediately if we need her."

"How do you think Angie will respond?"

"I have no idea," I replied. "But, she's basically back to where she was after our French kiss, and you know, after that, I had steady girls, and Angie knew I was sleeping with them. That gives me hope that she'll handle this reasonably well. We can't hide it from her, and once I saw her after her last meltdown, there was really no way to avoid her knowing what was happening in my life. After all, she goes to Saint George in Loveland, and I'll absolutely serve there as a deacon at some point."

"I hadn't considered that possibility; you're right, you couldn't hide it from her."

Our private conversation had to end as several of our friends came into the room to hang out until bedtime.

September 5, 1984, McKinley, Ohio

"Father, can we talk after Vespers?" I asked after receiving his blessing in the altar on Wednesday evening.

"Confession? Or just a talk?"

"Just a talk, though history suggests it could end up as confession."

Father Nicholas nodded, "Quite so. Shall we vest?"

We went to the vestry, put on our liturgical garb, and prepared for the service. Just over an hour later, we went to his office. Lara and Clarissa had gone back to campus with Tasha, so I didn't have any time pressure, except for the need to complete a couple of hours of homework.

"What did you need to talk about, Subdeacon?"

"I know it's not required, but I'd like your blessing to speak to Viktor Nikolay'ich about a betrothal to Elizaveta Viktorovna."

Father Nicholas removed his glasses, pinched the bridge of his nose, shook his head, then put his glasses back on.

"Of all the things I thought you might say to me, that is probably the last one I expected. Lara came to church with you tonight, right?"

I nodded, "Yes. She and I were in Pittsburgh over the weekend, and we had some very good talks, which continued when we returned to McKinley. We agree that she's not cut out for the life of a deacon's wife."

"It does take a very special kind of young woman to marry a man with a calling, and you have two."

"Lara IS special," I replied, "but she's concerned about the intense scrutiny which comes with the role of Matushka. Tasha expressed similar concerns several years ago, long before we were permitted to actually date."

"I have to ask, given your history, if you and Lara managed to avoid temptation while you were away."

I smiled, "There was plenty of temptation, but we managed to avoid acting on it. That said, I will admit it was a very close thing, and my main reason for staying chaste was my concern for the problem it would have created for you and Vladyka, not to mention the impropriety with regard to Elizaveta."

"Public discipline would have created a scandal, but allowing you to sin freely after what you said during your confession before you started seeing Elizaveta would have damaged your soul and made a mockery of both confession and your ordination. The fact that you realized that and remained chaste is a good sign, Subdeacon. You know I had serious concerns about that aspect of your life. Had you not come to me when you did, with your commitment to resolve it, there would have been little choice except to tell Vladyka you weren't suitable for the diaconate."

"And you didn't tell me this?"

Father Nicholas sighed, "Should I have had to tell you?"

"No," I replied with chagrin. "You should not."

"I knew you were aware, and it really was a test of your character to see how you handled it. You did the right thing at the eleventh hour, but as Saint John Chrysostom reminds us at Pascha, the eleventh hour is sufficient. Will Lara tell me the same story?"

"I believe what she'll say to you will be consistent with what I've told you because it's the truth."

Father Nicholas nodded, "Normally, I don't ask those kinds of specific questions, but in this case, if you confessed a transgression, it would be fairly obvious with whom you had transgressed."

"In that regard, I can confidently say there is nothing for either of us to confess. Now, if we're talking images popping into my mind, that's a whole different story."

"Do you fight them or encourage them?"

"Before I talked to you about chastity, I encouraged them; since then, I fight them."