Chapter 185

“I just don’t know what to do.”

I woke up to the soft whispers, having a hard time parsing where I was or what was going on for a moment.

“There’s nothing you can do, Cass,” Wanda whispered. “You said it wasn’t as bad as last time, right?”

There wasn’t a verbal response. It was still almost pitch dark in the room, the only light a couple of pinpoint spots from the corner of the washroom door. I was alone in bed, and felt strange that I found it uncomfortable after spending only a few nights with both Cassidy and Wanda in it with me.

“Well, he needs time to process,” Wanda whispered. “Just like I do. He knows you love him, and you’re trying your hardest. Cass, I get why you did it this way, and I- I can’t complain about what I’ve gotten out of it. But the amount of pressure you put on him...”

“I know,” Cassidy said. “I know. Fuck, I’m so fucking-”

“Stop, babe. Stop,” Wanda whispered, interrupting Cassidy. “It is what it is. I hate that saying, but it fits. You can’t change it now. You know he wouldn’t want to hear you putting yourself down like that.”

Wanda was right, hearing Cassidy verbalizing her guilt didn’t give me any sort of positive feeling like she was getting her comeuppance or something. It just made me hurt for her.

There were some soft sobs for a bit, muffled, and I assumed Wanda was hugging Cassidy. I wanted to get up and go in there, to take my fiancee in my arms and tell her it was all alright.

But I couldn’t, because it obviously wasn’t. My panic attack in the middle of the night said so.

“It’s all my fault,” Cassidy sobbed quietly. I knew she was probably being both general about it as well as more specific - Wanda and Cattie didn’t know about what had really triggered my nightmare and attack. Cassidy likely did.

“Shhhh,” Wanda hushed her softly without trying to correct her. There wasn’t any correcting to be done.

Eventually the washroom light went off and the door cracked open, the soft red light of the night light the only thing lighting up the cabin as they both slipped back into the main room. Wanda got onto the bed first, assuming her spot back on my left side, and Cassidy followed on the right.

“Come here, baby,” I said quietly, sweeping the covers back and pulling her towards me. Cassidy broke down again when she realized I must have heard at least some of their conversation, but she let me pull her close and she buried her face into my shoulder as she pulled her knees up to her chest and cried quietly. I wrapped my arm around her and pulled the covers back over us.

“She’s freaking out a bit,” Wanda said softly, slipping under the covers on my other side after taking off the T-shirt she must have put on for the conversation. Cassidy had been naked, and I suspected Wanda had woken up and heard her in the washroom and went to her. With the shirt gone, Wanda was naked as well and she snuggled up to me on her side, reaching over my chest to soothingly run her fingers through Cassidy’s hair. “She needs you so much, Robbie.”