It’s Friday evening and I’m outside the sport’s centre smoking with the lads and downing some cans of lager. We’re wearing our gi waiting for the little kids to pack up and go home. A spot of slamming people around the mat then it’s time for more serious drinking and larking around. It’s hard to believe that just a few years ago I had been a gawky looking little kid, short with buck teeth and wearing glasses. That made me an instant target for any slime ball to pick on at school. Then Dad started going to Jujitsu lessons to help him in his black market ‘negotiations’ and took me with him. “Only killed three people today, Mum” I would joke on my return from school. She wasn’t amused and kept complaining to Dad that I was too young to learn a fighting art. She thought I wasn’t mature enough and would use the skills irresponsibly, but Dad thought it was a laugh and encouraged me to continue. Now, after 6 years, I’ve got my black belt and no one dares pick on me. It’s me who does the picking on and I’ll beat the crap out of anyone who gets in my way. People must show me respect or I’ll force them to. I’m at a 6th form college now and love the look of fear on their faces when I put a hold on them threatening to break their arms or legs unless they pay up. It’s what my dad calls being an entrepreneur.

“‘Ere Ryan. Ain’t that yer Mum in that car?” Andy said. No! It can’t be. I look at the battered old car pulling up at the kerb side with Aunt Julie behind the wheel and my mum in the passenger seat. Oh no what’s the silly old moo doing here? The gawky old blonde keeps on at me about bullying other kids and wants to stop me coming to the Dojo until I’m old enough to act responsibly. Dad says I’m doing great and we’ll go beat up migrants in the summer and fleece them for a change.

The door opens and my Mum swivels in the seat and a pair of white high-heeled shoes descends to the path at the end of long slim shins covered in sheer light brown nylons. She is wearing a light mauve sweater over a yellow skirt dress. “I thought I’d find you here even though I told you that you’re grounded” she told me, her stare magnified by the gawky spectacles that she wore.

“Shut up Mum, I’m 18 now and can do what I like” I told her turning my back on her, hoping she got the message. “Wow!” Andy gasped and I looked back. Mum had got out the car in a way that was hardly lady-like. Her skirt had rucked up and now everyone could see her long legs and stocking tops. Why does the old mare wear such short skirts? Its not like she’s a young babe. “Come on lets go in” I say. But they are reluctant to move and keep staring at my mum in a way that makes me feel very uncomfortable. I mean its not as though she’s good looking or anything. She’s in her late thirties or early forties or something, with a tall willowy figure with big boobs and long slender legs. Her face is quite plain, long and narrow with a deep chin and big ears. She has long sandy blonde hair cut in a fringe, tucked behind her ears and falling around her face to lie mid chest. Her blue eyes were small but magnified by the geek specs she wore on top of a long sleek nose that ended at a small thin-lipped mouth crammed with too many teeth. Such small features overemphasised her flat cheeks and deep chin.

“Are you smoking? You know your granddad got lung cancer and I don’t want to go through that again” she berated me, showing me up in front of the lads. “Leave it out mum” I shot back and turned to herd everyone into the Dojo but the boys won’t budge. “Orrrrrr! Great legs” Andy moaned. I spun around and saw that Mum was trying adjust her short dress but in doing so was showing all off her legs, stockings, suspenders and even her white knickers. “Mum!” I shouted in embarrassment. “I’m staying here a moment” “Yeah me too, great view””Wow, fantastic legs”.

I spun round angrily to confront the boys. “That’s my mum. Stop looking at her like that or I’ll send you home in an ambulance” I threatened. “Oh my God look at that!” Brad gasped, his eyes widening. I looked back, horrified to see mum leaning into the car to speak with Aunty Julie. Her dress was so short that it had risen half way up her bum, which was bare apart from a skimpy thong between her buttocks. “Ohhh great arse. Amazing calves” Andy moaned. The high heels were making my mum’s long toned calve muscles bulge. Although I was used to seeing my mum’s legs, now that someone had pointed it out, I found myself staring at the long diamond shaped muscled slabs at the back of her legs and finding them strangely appealing. Actually they were quite sexy, why hadn’t I noticed that before? “Oh my God, I’d like to suck on those everlasting legs” someone moaned. That broke my trance. What was I doing looking at my mum’s legs while she showed off her stockings and suspenders? “Orrrrr sexy calves, sexy calves”. I spun around, disgusted to find Andy rubbing the front of his trousers vigorously. “Stop that! That’s my mum. Don’t you wank off over my mum” I cried and tried to grab him but he ran off inside with me in close pursuit. “Ryan, you come right back here do you hear?” my mum’s voice rang in the background “Ryan, I’m warning you. If I have to come after you, you’ll be sorry”.

I thought that was the end of that and got Andy on the mat to give him a good beating. “Ryan, cease!” Sensei shouted. Reluctantly I released Andy, growling that I’d get him later and turned to apologise to Sensei. To my horror, mum was standing in her stockinged feet by his side. “Ryan, I want a word with you” she said so loudly that everyone in the Dojo stopped what they were doing and stared at me. I felt my face burn, how dare the old mare come in here and show me up? “Piss off mum, I’m busy” I snapped. “Ryan! You will show respect to your lovely mother and apologise right now” Sensei ordered. “What? I ain’t apologising to her. She don’t own me” I protested. “Ryan!” Sensei started but was cut off by my mum putting her hand on his arm. “It’s alright. I won’t take up anymore of your time. I can deal with my naughty son” she told him then walked over the mat towards me. Naughty! How dare she speak as though I’m a kid! I’m 18 now and a black belt.

My mother came to a halt in front of me and placed her hands on her hips. At 5’9” she towered over my 5’4”. “Ever since you’ve taken up Jujitsu you’ve turned into a big bully. I thought this was going to give you confidence and help you up stand up to bullies, but you’ve become one yourself” she berated. “Mum!” “You’re just a yobbo who drinks and smokes and beats up little kids” she continued not letting me get a word in. “Shut your gob!” I spat, shocking her into silence. I was really angry now. “How dare you come in here and show me up? Who the hell do you think you are?” I demanded. “Ryan! Show respect” Sensei barked. “I’m your mother and you’re not so big that I can’t put over my knee and spank your behind” she replied. I heard the sniggers. “You’re just an old hag. Go home and wait. I’ll come home when I’m good and ready” I told her. “You will come home right now young man or I will punish you right here in front of all your friends” she shouted heatedly, her eyes blazed scarily. “Oh yeah! Like how you gonna do that? I’m a black belt in Jujitsu, you’re just a ordinary housewife” I replied hotly.

“Oh I know how to defend myself, I can deal with a naughty little boy like you” she flung back in my face. I remembered those self-defence lessons Uncle Jim brought her. Dad was furious about that especially after that incident with the burglar [SISLAW#1]. When we started Jujitsu classes, Mum wanted to learn as well but Dad said no. Martial arts weren’t for normal women, only big butch dykes and that was the end of the subject. “A few self-defence lessons won’t do you any good here, martial arts isn’t about kicking someone in the nuts then running away” I crowed. “I’m a black belt in a proper martial art” I sneered. “That’s enough Ryan. Apologise to your mother then leave” Sensei shouted. “No, it’s alright I will deal with it. I’m a member of the Salvation Army” the old bird replied. I burst out laughing. “Oh you gonna disrespect me with some hymns are you?” I laughed. “Right, you asked for it” Mum said and moved towards me. “Salvation army. What a laugh” I chuckled.

I’ll show the stupid old cow, I’ll scare her and put her in her place. Pretending to make a grab for her as if to make a throw, I lurched towards her. WHAM! The world spun in a blur and I was flat on my back on the mat with my head in a daze trying to understand what had just happened. “Argh!” a sharp twist of my arm forced me to roll onto my front. Seoi Nage! My mum had performed a perfect one-arm shoulder throw, grabbing my arm and turning her body into me while bending, throwing me over her shoulder so fast that she almost gave me whiplash. “Argh!” I sensed my mum crouch over my back, tucking my lower arm under her armpit then wrapping her arm around it. Keeping it straight, she pushed my elbow joint with the crook of her arm while pressing down near my shoulder with her other hand. “Argh!” she stressed the joint making me cry out in pain. Where the hell had the old maid learnt to do that? “You will do as you’re told for once, young man. You will get up, get changed then go home at once. Do I make myself clear?” she told me. “Argh!” I cried as mum stressed my arm so much I was scared that she might break it. “Do I?” she repeated sternly. “Argh! Yes Yes” I couldn’t believe it; within seconds my mum had overpowered me and was forcing me to submit. My mind couldn’t comprehend it. How could my own mother, an untrained middle-aged woman, get me, a young and healthy black belt in this position so easily? Of course I’d been in similar positions during class but the knowledge that this was my own mother made it different and strangely my groin started to twitch as the old mare again stressed the joint. “Arghh! Yes Yes clear” I cried, my eyes blurring with tears of pain. “Please mum you’re going to break my arm” I begged. “No more than you deserve for attacking your own mother” she replied. “Argh!” with one final push against my stretched arm, she released me and I sensed her standing up.

“Come on Ryan, I’m not waiting all night” she told me. I could people sniggering. “Mummy’s boy” someone said but I couldn’t identify who. Mum’s feet were in front of me and I found my eyes drawn up the length of her legs. Boy did they seem long and from my position on the mat, I could see right up her short dress as the incredibly long legs rose like two inward leaning pillars until they met at skimpy white thong briefs. Of course I had seen my mum’s legs before but never from this angle. Somehow she seemed dominant as I laid at her feet and I had an overwhelming urge to obey her. The sheen of her stockings shone in the lights and the sight of stocking top and black suspenders running over firm pale skin triggered an uncomfortable primal urge.

She started tapping her foot impatiently. As I got up, I could feel the eyes of the whole Dojo upon me. Obedience turned to anger. How dare the silly old cow show me up in front of the club? “I don’t know how you did that but” “Hai!” BAM! I tasted nylon as the sole of my mom’s foot blasted right in my face, smashing my lips against my teeth. The unexpected kick made me stagger and I had the fleeting impression of her long leg lowering from my face and the view all the way down to her skimpy thong covered crotch. “Hai!” BAM! Her other leg whipped up and around in a blur hammering my chin with a horrible click of teeth crashing together too hard and blasting my head back so hard that I saw stars. “Hai!” BAM! Something smashed in the side of my head, and I just made out the top of mum’s foot falling away as my vision tried to focus. My God, I didn’t know mum could kick like that! Her kicks were shockingly strong, that last one nearly knocked me to the ground. Focus Ryan, I can’t let her kick me in the head again. My mum’s face was calm, tight-mouthed, full of a self-confidence that sent shivers down my spine. “Hai!” her leg lifted in a flash of stockings and suspenders and thong briefs and strong calves. WHAM! The top of her foot smashed hard against the side of my chest. “Arrr!” I gasped as a shockingly hard kick rattled my ribs and drove the air out of that lung. Oh my God where did that come from? I hadn’t even begun to block it and so strong. Mum could really kick and she could kick hard and fast.